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    Updated on Nov 18, 2019. Posted on Nov 18, 2019

    17 Funny Tweets From This Week

    "Caffeine doesn’t do it anymore i need someone to text me 'We need to talk."


    Sorry I replied the very second you texted. I have no life and shame


    When you thought your nose was finally unblocking but it just switched nostrils


    My mom sent me these pics of the hat she made her dog and I’m cackling omg


    i left my airpod while getting sushi n the lady came back n gave it to me like this i’m screaming


    a girl from my due date group on fb is having a c-section on december 25th and wants to name her daughter “krissmiss dae”... she asked for opinions or other holiday name ideas and i suggested noelle or ivy... and she replied “eh idk those are kinda weird sounding” 😭😭😭


    when i bought my giant crystal ball the lady looked me in the eye and said "whatever you do, never EVER leave it uncovered when youre not home" and i said "oh wow because of spirits?" and she said "what? no bc if the sun hits it weird it'll burn down your house" important lesson


    since hair can’t be preserved in fossils we can’t rule out the possibility that dinosaurs looked like this


    This didn’t go viral on tik tok like I expected it to so I’m giving twitter a try



    You really think i care? lmaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooiactuallydoandyoujusthurtmyfeelings


    My favorite line when I’m drunk is “I’m not even that drunk” whole time I can’t even see


    funny how shakespeare been real quiet ever since this video dropped


    My crush and I have this hilarious inside joke where I text him and he doesn’t respond lmao I just texted once more, and AGAIN...nothing from him! 😂😂😂 We’re hilarious, I can’t wait for us to get a dog (or just a drink or coffee, even)


    *school starts 8:00* me at 8:26:



    I was 8 singing this like a 37 year old woman going through a divorice.


    caffeine doesn’t do it anymore i need someone to text me “we need to talk”


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