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Just 30 Really Funny Tweets From This Week

What more do you need??

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1.

my dad once said "do what you hate first thing in the morning to get it out of the way" then 2 mos later called me on my birthday at 6am

2.

person: hey, you alright? me: just had a mental breakdown two minutes ago me:

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3.

4.

my body: WATER please I need it me: you - you want iced coffee??

5.

6.

Kylie Jenner: mum I'm pregnant please don't tell any- Kris Jenner: *on the phone to TMZ* "guess what..."

7.

me: I'm not someone who cares about the Kardashians TMZ: Kylie Jenner is pregnant. me:

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9.

This is what Travis Scott and Kylie Jenner's kid finna look like

10.

me seeing someone i went to high school with in public

11.

me: *double texts a boy who left me on read* government agent who reads all my texts: oh i see she's back on her bullshit again *sigh*

12.

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13.

If she steals your hoodies, you just gotta steal her leggings. Cut em up and use em as a shooter sleeve at the hoop session

14.

[chick-fil-a] customer: thx employee: ur welcome [cow in distance making slicing motion over throat with hoof] employee: I mean…my pleasure

15.

Me and my future husband waiting on our pizza rolls to be done in the microwave like

16.

me after i make a vine reference irl and no one understands it

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18.

Me: I don't think I need to upgrade. My current iPhone works gre-- Apple:

19.

to whoever is making these pro-communism edits......thank you

21.

me: *stares at my selfie until it turns ugly* me: i knew it

22.

Bill Nye just walked into our elevator while I was snap chatting..

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23.

My psych professor asked if we'd heard of Pavlov. I said "it rings a bell." No one laughed, I'm too witty for this class.

24.

Girls are powerful af bc they will text a guy "lol k" and ignore him for 14 hours straight even when they're actual… https://t.co/pYRbNG9Ugj

25.

Gaga: "Can I get a name?" Me: "Alejandro" Gaga: "Don't call me, get out."

26.

Man claims world will end Saturday. My producer tried to book him for an interview tomorrow. He said he wasn't available until next week.

27.

Carrie Fisher feeding Meryl Streep chocolate cake; a masterpiece

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30.

why this man's stomach look like woody harrelson lmaooooooo

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