1.
2.
Me: can I have a turn in the hedge now Hedgehog: no
3.
when I die bomerang them lowering me pls
4.
when you finally meet that special someone
5.
"yo they lookin for u outside, i bit a kid."
6.
so I did a thing
7.
Me setting my alarms for 5am at 1am. https://t.co/R7jbXuQe81
8.
Jake Gyllenhaal looks so goddamn much like Disneyland Woody
9.
what if we made out at the macyβs 4th of july sale
10.
my dog: *has unlimited food, water, shelter & love *front door opens* my dog: https://t.co/jMfscBySMe
11.
"I said NO PICTURES, Bitch!"
12.
When you accidentally open the front camera of your phone...
13.
No one: My iPhone front camera:
14.
no one: gays trying to use a chair:
15.
Can I borrow your handbook to share with some of my current staff? π https://t.co/dEe0vPHGQz
16.
My Uber driver didnβt greet me when I got in, and he put absolutely zero effort whatsoever into getting to know me or trying to make any sort of conversation with me throughout the entire 7 minute trip. 5 stars
17.
July 4th is the met gala for Old Navy families