1.
If you’re having a bad day, watch this
2.
just got fired 🙏🏾 https://t.co/LuEq4SB8zT
3.
So... I made new hall passes for my students...🤣
4.
My 9-year-old daughter has taken an old lip balm tube and filled it with cheese so she can eat it in class.
5.
Me killing a spider even though I know they serve a very important function in the ecosystem
6.
When I was 12, I remember my friends stepdad (who was a firefighter) comment on how he felt women didn’t belong in the fire department because “no girl could ever lift a grown man” lol anyways, fuck you Craig.
7.
I cannot stop thinking about this
8.
i put falsies on my belly and then laughed about it for 3 minutes straight my tummy said UwU lmfao
9.
When I say I nearly passed out from laughing...
10.
my girlfriend keeps FEEDING this overweight RACCOON under her deck because she “cares about him” 💀💀💀💀💀 i find THIS today 💀💀
11.
a lunchable is charcuterie if you’re not a fucking classist
12.
dinner choices: █ █ █ █ ＿ gas station wendys 4 for 4 boner pills
13.
Y’all.... this is how my little brother wanted to come out in the family group chat 😂🤦🏾♂️
14.
If you turn the Chicago bulls logo upside down it’s a robot having sex with a crab
15.
me going back for a second bowl of some exquisite Cinnamon Toast Crunch at midnight
16.
nice nasa t-shirt you piece of shit name 5 planets you’ve been to
17.
omg
18.
Beyoncé listening to Lemonade with Jay-Z for the first time
19.
the sun exploding bc she’s tired of our shit
20.
priest: do you promise to love your partner until cancel culture do you part? bride: and I oop groom: and I oop priest: sksksksks tea I now prounounce you skinny legend and wife
21.
Thank you!! I stole it ❤️ https://t.co/r6UumOFSuf