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    21 Funny Tweets From This Week

    "Nice NASA shirt. Name 5 planets you've been to."

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    just got fired ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿพ https://t.co/LuEq4SB8zT

    3.

    So... I made new hall passes for my students...๐Ÿคฃ

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    My 9-year-old daughter has taken an old lip balm tube and filled it with cheese so she can eat it in class.

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    Me killing a spider even though I know they serve a very important function in the ecosystem

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    When I was 12, I remember my friends stepdad (who was a firefighter) comment on how he felt women didnโ€™t belong in the fire department because โ€œno girl could ever lift a grown manโ€ lol anyways, fuck you Craig.

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    i put falsies on my belly and then laughed about it for 3 minutes straight my tummy said UwU lmfao

    9.

    When I say I nearly passed out from laughing...

    10.

    my girlfriend keeps FEEDING this overweight RACCOON under her deck because she โ€œcares about himโ€ ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€ i find THIS today ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€

    11.

    a lunchable is charcuterie if youโ€™re not a fucking classist

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    dinner choices: โ–ˆ ใ€€ใ€€ โ–ˆใ€€ โ–ˆใ€€ โ–ˆใ€€ ๏ผฟ gas station wendys 4 for 4 boner pills

    13.

    Yโ€™all.... this is how my little brother wanted to come out in the family group chat ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿพโ€โ™‚๏ธ

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    If you turn the Chicago bulls logo upside down itโ€™s a robot having sex with a crab

    15.

    me going back for a second bowl of some exquisite Cinnamon Toast Crunch at midnight

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    nice nasa t-shirt you piece of shit name 5 planets youโ€™ve been to

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    Beyoncรฉ listening to Lemonade with Jay-Z for the first time

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    the sun exploding bc sheโ€™s tired of our shit

    20.

    priest: do you promise to love your partner until cancel culture do you part? bride: and I oop groom: and I oop priest: sksksksks tea I now prounounce you skinny legend and wife

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    If you want to read some more hilarious tweets, we've got a bunch here!