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15 People Who Definitely Shouldn't Drink and Text

"I drunk texted my grandma, 'Happoy New Yer you filthy slut!'"

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We asked the BuzzFeed Community to share their funniest drunk texts. You will get secondhand embarrassment from their messages.

1. A poor grandmother was dragged to hell:

"I thought I was texting my friend group chat." — Gianna Cretella, Facebook
Gianna Cretella / Via iphonefaketext.com

"I thought I was texting my friend group chat." — Gianna Cretella, Facebook

2. A dad was accidentally seduced:

"I rarely see him now because I forgot to tell him that I was drunk and he thought I was serious." —ravendeg
buzzfeed.com / Via iphonefaketext.com

"I rarely see him now because I forgot to tell him that I was drunk and he thought I was serious." —ravendeg

3. A boyfriend was poorly seduced:

—amandah145

4. And a lawyer was strategically seduced:

— saskiac4879fdf3a

5. A boss was given strict but strange orders:

"The next morning, I was so embarrassed. I went to work, logged on my computer and was greeted by this big sparkly pop-up that says, "Welcome, Doralicious Diva." — Dora Breckinridge, Facebook
Dora Breckinridge / Via iphonefaketext.com

"The next morning, I was so embarrassed. I went to work, logged on my computer and was greeted by this big sparkly pop-up that says, "Welcome, Doralicious Diva." — Dora Breckinridge, Facebook

6. Some faced obstacles:

"No idea what that meant or where I was in the house!" — anniey4ebe4c169
buzzfeed.com / Via iphonefaketext.com

"No idea what that meant or where I was in the house!" — anniey4ebe4c169

7. One drunkard woke up to see they might've been involved in three deaths:

"No need to worry — it's been confirmed no one actually died on this night." — nicolealexander
buzzfeed.com / Via iphonefaketext.com

"No need to worry — it's been confirmed no one actually died on this night." — nicolealexander

8. And imagine looking back at what you thought was a good burn.

— sofijaimes1

9. Some featured famous people, like Viola Davis:

—gillandj

10. And a vagina-stealing Ted Cruz:

— r45387a3d3

11. There's also this exchange between a drunk and sober friend:

— maximummusic00

12. One guy sent this stern message to 18 people and has no idea why:

—hitiorhn

13. Someone decided to bring up botany.

— Ladykalee

14. Someone else analyzed the role of chicken strips in a former relationship.

— spicesuw

15. And just gonna leave this text about ass cracks here:

— stephanier4608d931a

Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.

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