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People Are Sharing Their Cringiest Moments That Keep Them Up At Night

We all have them.

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On Monday, a Reddit thread asked, "What is that cringey moment from 10+ years ago that you remember when you're trying to sleep?" Here are some of the best submissions:

1. The inappropriate asker:

"When I was nine or 10, a boy at my school was killed in a car wreck. I didn't really know that boy very well, but I had a crush on his best friend. A few days after the funeral, in art class, he mentioned that he was one of the pallbearers and explained what that meant. Trying to make conversation with my crush, I asked him if he got paid for it." — annietx00

2. The inexperienced kisser:

"I was hanging out with a cute girl from school, and she said to me 'What are you gonna do having this hot girl you could kiss next to you?" I pulled out my phone and started playing Tetris. Fuck you, 13-year-old me." — algernonishbee

3. The Harry Potter erotica-lover:

"My mom caught me reading Harry Potter erotica on the shared family computer. I just minimized the internet browser when I got up to go to the bathroom for a minute, not thinking she would choose that exact moment to get online to check her email." — trabeeb

4. The victim of a cruel prank:

"When I was 13, a boy I liked asked me out. I said yes and he said, 'April Fools.' Fuck you, Robert." — nochickflickmoments

5. This person, who mixed up their words:

"I cracked my sternum when I was in seventh grade, and told my teacher I cracked my scrotum." — omegaskunkeh

6. The surprise licker:

"I kind of licked my lips "sexily" to my history teacher in 10th grade for no reason. I was/am a somewhat nerdy guy. He was a somewhat nerdy, straight, married man. There was no reason, none. Something just made me do it." — PersikovsLizard


7. The farter/urinator:

"In seventh grade the class was doing silent reading. My friend kept trying to make me laugh and I kept trying to ignore him so I didn’t get in trouble. He made a face that made me laugh and I farted at the same time, at which point the entire class started laughing at me, which made me laugh even louder and pee my pants. Had to get my friend to go tell the teacher I had peed my pants. Mortifying." — kwood4995

8. The public urinator:

"So in first school, around 6 or 7, we were in assembly and I realized I needed to go to the toilet . Upon being told no by my teacher, I said 'Don't say I didn't warn you' and promptly pissed myself in a hall of 100 kids sat cross legged on the floor. Naturally, this has haunted me for the last 11 years." — Dixon543

9. The person who spread dog shit throughout a party:

"I was 15 and was invited to a house party.I didn't know many people, but I felt like I was starting to fit in and get to know people. Next minute, it turns out someone had stepped in dog poo and was spreading it around the house. It started to smell pretty bad. We were walking around asking everyone who did it, and then someone proceed to point and my shoe which was covered in dog shit. Everyone started laughing at me and saying how gross it was. I didn't know what to do so ran out of the house!" — fanwagonband

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10. The plumber-hater:

We had a load of family and friends round and the conversation got to why I use my middle name as my first name. I explained that I don't like my first name because it makes me sound like "a fucking plumber." Turns out the guy next to me, a family friend, was a plumber. — kutuup1989

11. The all-too-familiar handshake fuckup:

"A low-level celebrity came to the gym I was at, me and my friend had a great time hanging out with him during the session. We swapped info, it was awesome. At the end when I was leaving, the celebrity is holding his water in his right hand - lifts his left hand up for the bro shake. I attempted to bro shake with my left hand but lack of coordination caused me to miss his hand. I tried fist bumping it, missed again. I made a quick joke about how my left hand is too uncoordinated for that, so I used my right hand, on his left hand and ended up just kinda grabbing his hand. I still haven't slept." — Turkish_Farmer

12. The accidental asshole:

"Mother's Day a couple of years ago, I was at a family dinner and I jokingly said Happy Non-mother's Day" to my sister-in-law, who doesn't have any children. I found out recently that she was actually having a miscarriage at the time." — SexualPorcupine


You can read more of the submissions here!

Responses edited for length and clarity.

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