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Jun 21, 2020

Lawyers Are Sharing Their "Oh, Now You Messed Up" Moment And I'm Gasping

It's like Legally Blonde IRL.

Remember that "gotcha" court scene in Legally Blonde when Elle got Chutney to admit that she killed her father after proving that she had lied about having a perm?

MGM

To watch that full scene, click here.

Well, that happens in real life sometimes, too. Reddit user SaltyBunCrack asked lawyers on Reddit to share times they witnessed 'Oh, now you fucked up' moments.

MGM

Here's what they said:

This lead-a-horse-to-water moment:

"We had a client who was on the board of directors for a company, and was being sued for allegedly not telling the board something. The entire case against him specifically essentially boiled down to whether or not he told the board about X. We prepped him for hours to say that he told the board about X. In court, opposing counsel straight-up asks our client what he told the board. He doesn't say X." —abunchofsquirrels

This lying client:

"We had a woman come to us saying that she slipped and fell outside of a nail salon because they hadn't swept up the wet leaves outside the door. We take the case and then get a call from opposing counsel saying he's going to send us something important. We open it, pop the disc in the computer, and right there is security cam footage of our client picking up the wet leaves, putting them on the sidewalk, and sitting down on them before calling for help." —EducatedOwlAthena

CBS

This simple question-and-answer mess-up:

"Custody dispute. Dad's attorney grilled mom for about 20 minutes on texts she had sent claiming to sell her prescriptions. She wouldn't admit it. Dad's attorney moved on and eventually ended with, 'One more question. Where did you get the pills you were selling?' Mom responds without thinking, 'Oh, my doctor prescribed them.'" —quelindolio

This automobile assumption:

"I had parked my motorcycle in my driveway. The officer ordered me to remove it, and tried to levy fines for the violation. He went after my landlord and tried to get me evicted. Eventually, I got a lawyer and filed a complaint. When asked to point to the bylaw I was breaking, he did and even read it out, which basically read:

No parking or storing anything in a driveway other than an automobile.

He seriously thought a motorcycle wasn't an automobile because an automobile is a car." —devinple

CBS

This oblivious attorney:

"Custody case. Attorney stands up in this case and goes to the judge: 'My client has only been found guilty of child endangerment in (county next to us) and (county next to that). I see no reason that this court should hold that against him when it comes to custody of his children.'" —kithien

CBS

This dead giveaway:

"Custody dispute. Children have severe asthma. The kind of asthma that requires special equipment, and mom said the father is ignoring these issues. He's negligent. He's endangering them. Mom should have custody. Mother called her mother — the kids' grandma — to the stand. She babysat the kids often. The mother swore that the grandmother never smoked in front of the kids, and that her apartment was not a dangerous environment for asthmatic children. The grandmother was called last minute by the mother as a rebuttal witness. As she took the stand, the grandmother leaned over into the microphone and cleared her throat. 'Ahecchhhmm.' It was a 2- or 3-second-long expression of smoky phlegm. Father was awarded custody." —Thompson_S_Sweetback

This BS evidence:

"I was reviewing some documents of a case involving work-related death benefits. Naturally, the deceased's heirs were claiming the money as they were the beneficiaries. Basically, the heirs just had to prove that the deceased's death was work-related. I noticed that the official certificate of death said the guy passed away on Jan. 1, but the heirs had submitted hospital records that the deceased had been admitted to that hospital in February. The dates were so radically different that it could not have been a typo. This was the turning point when their credibility was wiped out, and I knew that the claim was bullshit." —wordstonotliveby

CBS

This shitty citing:

"I was in a small claims action with a former employer. He tried citing his own lawyer as an authority that the judge should defer to. The judge was not amused. I won." —ReasonReader

This admission:

"Some guy was accused of something — I cannot remember what — but the judge spoke him free because there wasn’t enough evidence he had done it. Guy said, 'Thank you, judge, I’ll never do it again.'" —Belgian_friet

Have you ever witnessed one of these types of moments in court? Or in real life, perhaps? Let me know in the comments below!

CBS

Responses have been edited for length and clarity.

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