1.
Me and my friends on my bed the morning after a shit show of a night out https://t.co/NMQzFSy1jK
2.
me and my bestfriend getting kicked out of heaven after we made fun of everyone there
3.
Did you ever think you’d see a porcupine hit the milly rock ever at all in your entire life? Ya, neither did I.... yet here we are
4.
nooo delilah don’t move to new york city your ass is so fat lol
5.
I told my boyfriend to show me pictures of my outfits that I ordered and I for sure was not expecting this...
6.
Man what the fuck
7.
Was being responsible and didn’t drive home after happy hour last night. Came back to pick up my car and it’s in a fucking farmers market.
8.
The letter Q comes up waaaaay too early in the alphabet. We’re not ready for it where it’s currently placed. It bellongs with fellow avant-garde acts, X, Y and Z, deep in after the mainstream.
9.
3 months ago any girl drinking a white claw got their entire existence roasted by the same guys now posting snap stories saying “ain’t no laws when you’re drinking claws”
10.
there’s 2 sides to every story 😔
11.
If she wanna eat a burger at 16 am let her wtf
12.
My boyfriend really just sneezed sitting 5 feet away and texted me this 🙄
13.
emergency hotdog that heats up when you crack it like a glow stick
14.
no one: james charles at coachella:
15.
me: “a nose piercing would be kinda cute” my mum:
16.
a whale would never say something just to be hurtful
17.
me at 3 am looking at the bag of hot cheetos i left in my room
18.
I do not want to go to this gym anymore
19.
me writing my essay 30 minutes before its due
20.
The amount of things Miley Cyrus hates about Nick Jonas: https://t.co/2RcJ6hyx7m
21.
😭
22.
i was a four loko but he wanted a white claw - rupi kaur
23.
dads be like “go help ur mother” bro go help ur wife
24.
Me: should I just text him again? everyone: https://t.co/7YHs9Sjhv5
25.
the the doors of a vibes dudes jeep wrangler 🤝 are off for some fucking reason
26.
Every email I ever send: Hello! I am extremely excited to be corresponding with you! You can tell by the number of exclamation points I use! Here is one sentence with a period so that I don’t come across as manic. Thanks!
27.
Imagine an e-mail finding you well
28.
Can’t stand a Chipotle worker who gotta scream “extra chicken” down the line. How does it feel being the feds? 🙄
29.
This baby bad as hellll