1.
Big fan of this picture of a veterinarian showing a cat how fat he is.
2.
I am thankful that I’m hotter now than I was in high school and that technology has evolved in a way that makes it easy to remind all the people who wronged me of this fact.
3.
Wow apparently it's "rude" to ask the parents of a kid on a leash if it was a rescue... SMH lol
4.
me leaving the girls i just met in the club to go and find my friends
5.
My uncle on my Italian side got one of the DNA tests done and it turns out they're not Italian and everyone in my family is having a mental breakdown
6.
my relatives while i’m explaining what i do for a living
7.
Ran into your boyfriend at Lowe’s
8.
Someone: “Wyd” 6th Grade Me: Don’t do it Don’t do it Don’t do it Don’t do it Don’t do it Don’t do it Don’t do it Don’t do it Don’t do it Me: “Texting you :) “
9.
i told my little brother that it was fine if we didn’t get ice cream and he said “are you sure? i looked it up online and it said when girls say they’re fine they’re not”
10.
I was today years old when I found out the middle row in a package of Oreos was actually for salsa😳‼️🤷🏻♀️
11.
When u hit yo pinky toe on the bed rail 💀
12.
Didn’t see my boyfriend for like a week and when we sat down to eat at this restaurant he pulls out a bit of paper and said “ I had so much tea to spill that I didn’t want to forget any details” lmaooooo
13.
14.
Here’s how to tip: Bill: $45.15 Move decimal to the left: $4.515 Take it back now, yall: $45.15 One hop this time: $451.5 One hop this time: $4515. Tip: $4,515 Total bill: $4560.16 If you can’t afford to tip, you can’t afford to go out to eat.
15.
OMG in town a woman was walking a tiny wee chihuahua and I heard her say to it ‘come on Tracey move out the way’ :)))) TRACEY
16.
Me hitting a car to Shallow is the ultimate thrill <3
17.
Me: I hate country music Rascal Flatts: "Life is a highhhwaayyy" Also me:
18.
Me: hi Girl who wore sneakers to prom:
19.
*gets hit by a car* passerby: “ARE YOU OKAY?” me: “Please... I need my... phone” *opens Twitter* me: “LMFAOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT”
20.
Me trying to make a baby laugh... *What the baby really sees
21.
I don’t want to end the year on bad terms with anyone... So apologize to me.
22.
When you drop your keys right before unlocking the door after you had a stressful day
23.
i did this in middle school she isnt special https://t.co/L77Q3kneV2