This is Jaboukie Young-White. He's a stand-up comedian. He likes defending short men, hates capitalism, and IMO is, like, the king of Twitter.
Here are 21 hilarious tweets of his:
1.
me: is extra cheese free chipotle employee: yes me: can i get extra cheese chipotle employee: yes me, turning to camera: https://t.co/dQTV9xw6kg
2.
kids who had good snacks at their house are all on facebook announcing their marriages now
3.
lacroix is like drinking sprite with a condom
4.
millennial culture is fantasizing about all the medical procedures you'll get once you have health insurance
5.
what did we do to deserve this heat beside absolutely destroy the environment for the last century
6.
stop making fun of me for being sensitive bitch i will cry on you
7.
melania: *enters barron’s birthday party* everyone: *stares* melania: *takes off “i should have used a condom” scarf* hello
8.
me tweeting when there's texts i still haven't replied to
9.
me pretending to have 5 years experience at an entry level interview
10.
me after eating a well rounded breakfast
11.
so many people wanted a pony as a child only to turn around and slander short men as adults. fools... we are the ponies of humans
12.
happy weekend to men under 6ft. we’re embracing our short kinghood. we’re wearing whatever shoes we like, not just ones that give us an extra inch. we’re going to be assertive at the bar when we’re putting in drink orders. we are winning
13.
"millennials killed department stores" baby boomers killed the polar bears but right right right my deepest apologies to jc penny
14.
is it gay to have a biological father? you telling me you got another man's dna in your body? 💀💀💀😂 shit sound a little spicy 2 me idk
15.
fellas, is it bi to watch tv and be on your phone at the same time. be honest
16.
shouts out to closeted lgbtq ppl. it takes so much mental energy to have to constantly perform a false identity. but once i came out i had so much more brain power. i can emotionally connect better. i can hit the chord change in love on top. i can bend space and time w my ass
17.
white people calling the police on their shadows
18.
people born after 2000 will never fully understand the generational trauma inflicted by hollister & abercrombie
19.
there’s a ban on lettuce in the u.s. and i say GOOD. arugula has done the heavy lifting in salads for ages while lettuce brings NOTHING to the table, taste or nutrient wise. spinach has crossed over to casseroles, wraps, even SMOOTHIES. miss lettuce simply doesn’t have the range
20.
humans act like we're at the top of the animal kingdom when most of us only have two tiddies. cows?? 4 tiddies. dogs? 10 tiddies. yet we're the superior species??? idk something don't add up
21.
beyoncé nailing choreography and hitting every note: 😌 me trying to reach the outlet behind my bed: