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    18 Tweets From This Week That Are Motherfreakin' Hilarious

    "When I go to a website and my computer fan turns on, that’s how I know it’s a good website."

    1.

    Gotta stay humble 😤🙏🏼

    2.

    Is it just me or does this math not work out https://t.co/Whnlb4beaB

    3.

    What’s the bigger flex? Rt for 64 box of crayolas Like for AirPods

    4.

    when i go to a website and my computer fan turns on, that’s how i know it’s a good website

    5.

    i got this dm at fucking 12:30 this morning and i’m still thinking about it

    6.

    Either there’s a @netflix glitch or @MarieKondo’s methods have escalated.

    7.

    Job Interviewer: Describe a situation when you went above and beyond for a customer? Me:

    8.

    No one: JK Rowling: Dobby has a 10 inch cock

    9.

    People keep giving me shit for watching Netflix with the subtitles on. I can’t hear what they’re saying when I’m bashing on Doritos dude. They’re too fucking crunchy

    10.

    this is so funny sjskskdhdj she was so mad

    11.

    “are you free?” me: https://t.co/DEX0nxFmsW

    12.

    Me and my friends wondering around the club parking lot looking for our Uber because we don’t know what a toyota looks like

    13.

    i will never forget the time i was at a party we were playing truth or dare and someone dared me to go home

    14.

    The US goverment may be shutdown but my legs are open

    15.

    everyone on earth: *is staring at the moon* the moon:

    16.

    @chrissyteigen I went on 2 dates with a guy who had this tattooed on his body

    17.

    do u ever hear someone say something smart in class and wonder what it’s like to have brain cells that actually fucking do their job

    18.

    me checking my bank account balance before eating out for the 9th time of the week

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