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18 Tweets From This Week That Are Pee-Your-Pants-Twice Funny

"Being little spoon go crazy, have shorty on yo back like a lil jetpack."

1.

Good morning to everyone except Grandpa Joe, who sat in bed for 20 years and let his family wallow in poverty but hopped up like a motherfucker to go to a damn candy factory

2.

3.

my 6’2 gf and i got into a really bad argument today so she picked me up and put me on top of this dresser as a punishment 😕

4.

“I couldn’t breathe when I slept so I installed a camera”

5.

The deodorant is not done until the plastic shreds my armpits. This is not up for discussion.

6.

Some of y’all need to spell coconut with y’all tooth brush

7.

“I would rather stay in then go party every weekend”

8.

being little spoon go crazy, have shorty on yo back like a lil jetpack

9.

When your teacher uses ur assignment as an example for what to do right https://t.co/Pc5oh2p96T

10.

11.

why does this dog look like richard gere

12.

13.

i did not just see a tweet abt this person thinking albanians were jessica alba stans

14.

danny devito danny devitamos danny devitas danny devitáis danny devita danny devitan

15.

texting my crush “hey infant” instead of baby so that they know i’m smart and regularly use my thesaurus

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17.

An update on the account you reported is available.

18.

you are CANCELLED young lady!! no clout for a week!!! go to your alt!!

If you want to read some more hilarious tweets, we've got a bunch here!