1.
2.
i absolutely refuse to drink any tap water till it’s gone though my brita filter that i haven’t changed in 5 years
3.
tell me why we were running and taliah said “I CANT KEEP UP!!! MY CROCS ARE NOT ON SPORTS MODE!!!!” 💀
4.
Every parent: do you know how to get there? You just make a left then right then through 3 lights then a left and it’s a mile ahead on the right Me: *nods as I type the address into google maps*
5.
maggie got a growth removed today and this is what my dad sent me🍸
6.
Know I’m high I done poured this shit in the washing machine all ova my clothes 😭
7.
I told my kid to shovel the snow. I checked my video cam to make sure he was doing it. This is what I see. #michigansnow
8.
CAPTION OF THE YEAR:
9.
I've gone down a black hole of the latest DeepFakes and this mashup of Steve Buscemi and Jennifer Lawrence is a sight to behold
10.
I am not a good hugger. Tonight a friend hugged me and I dropped some crackers I was holding and just gently said “my crackers” while waiting for the hug to end
11.
Then how the hell was your head under water but you were breathing fine? https://t.co/HQwPQBdkR9
12.
OMFGGGGG “you can die poor then”
13.
me being looped into the email chain
14.
little kid: hey you’re pretty five year old me: aw thanks little kid: ...pretty UGLY me:
15.
spongebob NEVER made a bad track. Gary come home?? BANGER. Best day ever?? SLAPS. Sweet victory??? Emotionally and sonically RICH. Don’t even get me STARTED on This Grill is Not a Home
16.
me when i click on a notification that takes me to a whole different app
17.
the most convincing argument yet for making public transport free