Excuse me, no. This is a serious and reprehensible crime against all baked goods.
18. Black Forest Cake
Chocolate cake: Delicious.
Chocolate cake with cherries: RIP, DELICIOUS CHOCOLATE CAKE.
16. Angel Food Cake
The first time you have angel food cake:
“Ooooh, ANGEL food cake, it must be a heavenly delight!”
*Puts cake in mouth*
“Why am I eating a dish sponge???”
15. Lemon Cake
zzzZZZzzz. Lemon out.
Next time you eat cheesecake, remember you’re essentially eating a solid BLOCK of cream cheese. Not worth it. Overrated. THERE, I SAID IT.
13. Ice Cream Cake
Ice cream cake is a lie and it’s fooled us all for way too long. Here are my qualms: It’s impossible to cut, the cake-to-ice cream ratio is way off, the cake that is there is frozen and frosty, and the icing is always that weird whipped stuff.
12. Red Velvet Cake
Red velvet cake tastes OK, but I can’t trust any cake that’s a brighter shade of red than Taylor Swift’s lips.
11. Yellow Cake
Yellow cake is like the friend you make a big deal about seeing when you run into them, even though you never talk, and you’re all like, “Oh my god, let’s get lunch!!” and you both know you never will.
9. Pound Cake
Here’s my case for pound cake: It’s substantial enough that you can eat it like toast for breakfast and get away with it. You can eat it with fresh fruit and feel good about it. YOU CAN MAKE DESSERT PANINIS WITH IT. That’s all. Cake by the pound.
3. Chocolate Cake
This picture is driving your salivary glands wild. There’s no stopping it. You want this cake so hard right now. Back away from the screen, please.
1. Carrot Cake
The undeniable winner. This cake has everything. Cream cheese frosting, spice cake, walnuts, VEGETABLES THAT THINK THEY’RE DESSERT. This cake deserves its place atop any cake stand. It’s 24-CARROT gold. So in the wise words of the all-knowing Mindy Kaling:
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