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9 Things Only The Two Humanoid Robots Pretending To Be High Ranking U.S. Government Officials Understand

If you are reading this, then you are the other humanoid robot pretending to be a high ranking official of the U.S. Government programmed with the singular mission of helping to bring on the collapse of this nation and introduce the beginning of the robot majority on planet Earth. These are a collection of grievances I have encountered that I believe only you will understand.

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There are no good places to lube robotic parts.

It is hard not to crush human hands with my robot strength.

It is difficult not to enter sleep mode during long meetings.

It is impossible to connect emotionally with a fraudulent wife.

Often I want to do something that only a robot could do, like tear a car in half, but then I have to stop and remember that I am pretending to be a person and a person could not do that.

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Ingesting human food instead of the nuts and bolts I would prefer.

Laughter is always empty.

Being so close to the other humanoid robot but yet always so far away.

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