This Dude Posted A Personal Ad Offering To Be Worst Thanksgiving Date Ever
This guy sounds like he rules, to be honest.
Don't have a date for Thanksgiving? Angry at your family? Live in the Nashville area? You're in luck, this guy wants to save your Thanksgiving:
Our mysterious nightmare date describes himself as a 28-year-old recovering alcoholic and line cook who promises a strictly platonic Thanksgiving date.
"I am a 28 year old felon with no high school degree, and a dirty old van one year younger than me painted like Eddie Van Halen's guitar. I can play anywhere between the ages of 20 and 29 depending on if I shave. I'm a line cook and work late nights at a bar. If you'd like to have me as your strictly platonic date for Thanksgiving, but have me pretend to be in a very long or serious relationship with you, to torment your family, I'm game."
His ad also promises a ton of really useful services, such as...
• "Openly hit on other female guests while you act like you don't notice."
• "Start instigative discussions about politics and/or religion."
• "Propose to you in front of everyone."
• "Pretend to be really drunk as the evening goes on (sorry, I don't drink, but I used to. A lot. Too much in fact. I know the drill)."
• "Start an actual, physical fight with a family member, either inside or on the front lawn for all the neighbors to see."