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Meet Kalan, He's Literally The Worst Street Performer In The Whole World

"I describe what i do as a non-narrative, nihilist, anarchist puppet show about literary theory."

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Thankfully for the rest of us, Gothamist has found the world's worst street performer. His name is Kalan and unsurprisingly he performs in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

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Kalan wears a lot of actual garbage. Also, warpaint.

And he travels around with a bunch of other actual garbage.

He also drinks out of the garbage.

Sometimes he runs around subway trains dressed kind of like a Jawa from Star Wars.

And sometimes he stands on trash cans and waves around a big tube.

He describes what he does as "a non-narrative, nihilist, anarchist puppet show about literary theory."

Pictured below: something apparently about literary theory.

Oh, and sometimes he'll touch you with his garbage puppets.

He's using a baby doll attached to his fingers to caress this man's leg.

Now he's using the same baby doll to touch the man's shoulder while blowing a harmonica in his face.

So, now you know, this is Kalan.

And he's the worst.

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