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I Ate At Jiro Ramen, One Of Tokyo's Most Infamous Ramen Shops, And Survived

WARNING: This post contains really gross photos of my face covered in ramen juice.

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Oh, if you want to hear any of the disgusting sounds from this magical ramen experience, definitely check out this episode of Internet Explorer!

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This is the line for one of Tokyo's infamous Jiro Ramen locations. People starting queuing for lunch around 10:30 a.m.

Ryan Broderick / BuzzFeed

Jiro Ramen isn't so much a restaurant as much as it is a religion in Tokyo. There are over 30 locations, and eating in there is a big deal.

Ryan Broderick / BuzzFeed

The blog Ramen Tokyo describes Jiro as "cult-like." It's especially popular with young men. The vibe while you're waiting in line is kind of like the specific mix of awkward masculinity and shame you experience when you're in a strip club.

Ryan Broderick / BuzzFeed

The average wait time to get in is around 45 minutes. And then it can get pretty intense. This is a sign warning that a brawl recently broke out when people started cutting in line.

Ryan Broderick / BuzzFeed

Oh, another thing — I heard Jiro's portions are huge. I ordered a large because I'm an American and also an idiot. This is me watching them make my bowl.

Daichi Ito / BuzzFeed

For reference, these are halves of a small.

Ryan Broderick / BuzzFeed

And here comes my large.

Hikaru Yoza / BuzzFeed
Hikaru Yoza / BuzzFeed
Hikaru Yoza / BuzzFeed

"Help me..."

Ryan Broderick / BuzzFeed

It was so large that I wasn't even sure where to start.

Hikaru Yoza / BuzzFeed

But nevertheless, I started slurping my way through the beast.

Daichi Ito / BuzzFeed

"I have made a terrible mistake..."

Daichi Ito / BuzzFeed

Also, I should point out, I am awful at using chopsticks.

Hikaru Yoza / BuzzFeed

Fun weird thing I learned: The ramen makes your sinuses run like crazy! And there are NO napkins at Jiro. So halfway through, I looked like an insane person.

Ryan Broderick / BuzzFeed
Ryan Broderick / BuzzFeed
Ryan Broderick / BuzzFeed

As I championed through the massive bowl of meat and noodles, I noticed that the noodles were getting bigger because they were absorbing the broth! This thing just wouldn't die.

Ryan Broderick / BuzzFeed
Ryan Broderick / BuzzFeed
Ryan Broderick / BuzzFeed

Ultimately, this is as far as I got with it. I ate about two-thirds of it and gave up because I wanted to die.

Ryan Broderick / BuzzFeed

As far as taste goes, Jiro's ramen is really great! But it's also super oily and salty and fills you up so quickly. It's kind of like a big, greasy slice of pizza, but in a bowl of broth.

Hikaru Yoza / BuzzFeed

Final verdict: Jiro Ramen is totally intense and when I was done I felt like I needed a nap and to poop for a hundred years.

Hikaru Yoza / BuzzFeed

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