The Mega Muffin
First impressions: This is on the breakfast menu — it's two hamburger/sausage-type things with bacon and eggs and cheese. The whole thing is covered in ketchup. I want to eat it every day for the rest of my life.
Emoji rating: 💀💀💀💀💀 out of five.
First impressions: Oh! This is just a McDonald's hamburger covered in teriyaki sauce. Alright then.
Emoji rating: 🍖🍖🍖 out of five.
Vegetable Chicken Burger
First impressions: It's a veggie burger and not exactly a great one. But the radioactive-looking orange sauce is actually amazing.
Emoji rating: 🔥🔥 out of five.
First impressions: Imagine, like, a big mozzarella stick covered in a tangy mayonnaise-type sauce and covered in shredded lettuce. Now imagine, like, the most delicious version of that — this thing was AWESOME.
Emoji rating: 💕💕💕💕 out of five.
Spam & Cheese Burger
First impressions: OK, did not have high hopes for this, but holy cow. It is so weird and good — don't ask me why or how, but I totally recommend it!
Emoji rating: 🎉🎉🎉🎉 out of five.
BK Hot Dog Classic
First impressions: I thought this would be some kind of breakfast-themed hot dog, but it's just a hot dog. It's pretty good nonetheless!
Emoji rating: 😐😐😐 out of five.
Pizza and Tuna Corn Pies
First impressions: Did not know what these were until I looked them up later. The pizza one tastes like a hot pocket and the tuna corn one tastes like clam chowder.
Emoji rating: 🍕🌽 out of five.
First impressions: This shouldn't be any good, but it's pretty great. And the avocado is not totally gross!
Emoji rating: 🐟🐟🐟 out of five.
First impressions: Bruuuuhhhhh, this bad boy is a cheeseburger with a big hash brown inside. This shouldn't be a special thing — all cheeseburgers should just have a hash brown in them!
Emoji rating: 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌 out of five.
Chicken Fillet Sandwich
First impressions: I had to try the chicken, and oh man, is it better than the U.S. Did not feel nearly as gross after eating this as I would have in the States.
Emoji rating: 🍗🍗🍗 out of five.
Grilled Rice Ball
First impressions: I thought this was going to be more, like, I don't know, interesting? But it's just a rice ball covered in soy sauce.
Emoji rating: 🍙 out of five.
Shrimp Stick Thing?
First impressions: I'm not sure what it's called because it's new and Google Translate says it's called "shrimp angrily fly," but it was good!
Emoji rating: 🍤🍤🍤 out of five.
In conclusion: Go to McDonald's for breakfast, Burger King for the Quattro Burger, and stick with the chicken at KFC.
Oh, and these menus change a lot, so if you spot anything awesome put it in the comments below!