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How To Become A Master Of None

Guide to ruling New York City under a very specific set of circumstances. [Mild Spoilers]

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The Four Horsemen (295 Grand St., Brooklyn)

The Four Horsemen / Via Instagram: @fourhorsemenbk

When you’re in need of a first date spot that also happens to be owned by the dude from LCD Soundsystem.

Cheaper alternative: Alligator Lounge (600 Metropolitan Ave., Brooklyn) Free pizza with every drink!

Westlight (111 N 12th St., Brooklyn)

@sophiedick11 / Via Instagram: @sophiedick11

If you’re looking to move to a rooftop bar and you’re also hoping to run into the son of Scatman John.

Cheaper alternative: Alligator Lounge (600 Metropolitan Ave., Brooklyn). Free pizza with every drink!

Carbone (181 Thompson St., Manhattan)

Daniel Krieger / Via carbonenewyork.com

When you need a high-end spot for your first dinner with your boss, even if he’s already had dinner.

Cheaper alternative: Joey's Pepperoni Pizza (381 Broadway., Manhattan). Plain slices start at just $1

Los Tacos No. 1 - Chelsea Market (75 9th Ave., Manhattan)

@lostacos1 / Via Instagram: @lostacos1

When your foodie boss asks you where to find the best tacos in New York City, there’s only one answer to guarantee a pastor pal for life.

Cheaper alternative: Crocodile Lounge (325 E 14th St., Manhattan). Another place that will give you a free pizza with every drink!

PDT (113 St Marks Pl., Manhattan)

Via eater.com

When you’re looking for a cool, hip spot for a frigid second date where you can debate the virtues of sparkling versus flat water.

Cheaper Alternative: 2 Bros Pizza (32 St. Marks Pl., Manhattan) Not terrific but if the date’s gonna be a bummer anyway, why not get $1 slices?

Il Buco (47 Bond St., Manhattan)

@mgemi / Via Instagram: @mgemi

Great place for a second date with someone who is totally against sharing her fish dish.

Cheaper Alternative: Percy's Pizza (190 Bleecker St., Manhattan), $1 slices

Lucky's Famous Burgers (264 W. 23rd St., Manhattan)

@onepeacepoet / Via Instagram: @onepeacepoet

When you're turned away from the club and just want to make new friends and hear some Vengaboys, Lucky's will be there for you.

Cheaper Alternative: You're not gonna find one.

Yuji Ramen (150 Ainslie St., Brooklyn)

@yujiramen_bk / Via Instagram: @yujiramen_bk

Before your whole world falls apart, grab some brothless ramen with your boss / co-host / friend / all around good guy.

Cheaper Alternative: consider heading back to the Alligator Lounge (600 Metropolitan Ave, Brooklyn). Free pizza with every drink!

Wilfie & Nell (228 W 4th St., Manhattan)

@wilfieandnell / Via Instagram: @wilfieandnell

Comfortable and cozy spot, perfect for when Archer needs to tell you that your friend / boss is a creep.

Cheaper Alternative: 99 Cent Fresh (388 6th ave). Best dollar slices in the city.

Nitecap (151 Rivington St., Manhattan)

@nitecapnyc / Via Instagram: @nitecapnyc

Ideal location to have high-end cocktails and a heart-to-heart with your super tall friend.

Cheaper Alternative: 99 Cents Fresh Pizza (71 2nd Ave., Manhattan). You can't have your fancy conversation over dollar slices?

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