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The Stages Of Wine Night With Stassi Schroeder

From 0 to 100 before Annie even calls the flight attendant "Stove".

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You and your friends decide it's time for a good old fashioned wine night.

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Somehow you've all become "adults" and have "jobs" and "responsibilities" and so these wine nights have become a big deal.

You all get to the same place and bust out the bottles.

Bustle / Via

"Wait you only brought one bottle?"

Bridesmaids is being put on, obviously.


Because what else?

Your friend asks if it's okay if you guys drink wine from Tervis cups.


Uh, does it hold liquid? Then we're good.

You definitely do what your mom calls an "over-pour".


Damn right.

Then you're all on your second glass.

Your friends feign surprise when you're the first to get a third glass.

One of your friends finishes the best bottle of Pinot Grigio.

You might have just snapchatted your ex a #wineselfie...


#oops? #what? #byefelicia?

One of your friends is crying over HER ex's snap story...


You just had to bring up Snapchat.

But you're not going to let wine night go to hell like this.

You go to grab more wine but you guys have finished it all...

Your OTHER friend just gets super pissed about how HER ex cheated on her.


So you all tell her how shitty he is, of course.

A halo appears above the hostess' head and she says she has some more wine in the fridge.

You might drink it like you've been in the desert for 3 days without water.



Your ex opens the snapchat and doesn't reply...

And he doesn't even text you...

Okay, you MIGHT care and you MIGHT be stalking his Insta.

But your friends comfort you and agree his new girl is a total downgrade.

I mean, scratch that. Let's be honest.

As your friends comfort you, you realize how petty it all is and how lucky you are to have these girls.

Then you all laugh because Megan's driving past Annie with all the dogs.


Holy hell, wine makes time go by really slowly.

There's no wine left but there's a lot of chips and guac...

And when you guys all wake up in the morning, everyone's down for mimosas and Bloody Marys at brunch.

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