Getting a drink at Chip Shots Sports Pub, Grille, and Golf SimulatorVia golf is lifeMargaritas with Karen at The Tiki Bar, which is inexplicably located at the Nashoba Valley Ski AreaVia lay off the tequila, karenWalking my dog - I’ll be wearing my reflective vest, of course.Via ;)10 O’Clock?? Sleeping, of course!Via my pillow.comSmoking up at Castle in the Trees PlaygroundVia there is a castle on a cloudStaying in and watching Littleton Community Television! (LCTV)Via LCTVGetting alcohol poisoning in a basement or a barnVia is this what teens do?Driving aimlessly in circlesVia shut up and drive, drive, driveFriday Night is Football Night! Gooooo Tigers (2013 MIAA Division 6 State Football Champs)Via touchdown
Camp TahattawanVia shut up & form a single file lineThe Vinyl VaultVia is it a real vault? no one knowsThe Paper StoreVia no commentMarket BasketVia Mah-ket Bas-getLong LakeVia the best spot in town to get a sinus infection!!Springbrook Farm (technically a farm, primarily an upscale faux-vintage store)Via she may be bad, but she's beautifulMenchiesVia 'gurt me upOne of 4 Dunkin Donuts LocationsVia why are there 4Something else!Via yes this is clip art of a robber baron
Libertarian Conspiracy Theorist teaching Graphic DesignVia alex jones is baeEnglish Teacher who hunts his own meat, listens to Lana del Rey, and identifies closely with drones.Via born to fly (bc he's a drone)Overqualified former professor & queen who didn’t make tenure. Strongly resembles Paul McCartney (in a good way) and is not-so-subtly a dominatrix. Definitely into something involving boots…Via Queen BEdna Mode but with 40 PhD’sVia no capesSweet Young Man who just wants teens to care about chemistry - and really loves to burn Doritos.Via awwwHistory Teacher so awesome you’ll resent his infant daughter for dividing his attention away from your class.Via sideburns for days, honeyThe Theater Teacher from High School Musical, but she teaches History instead. Sends passive aggressive emails, but they’re for your own good.Via sorry momExtremely loud Librarian with no boundaries. (low-key she’s your best friend tho)Via crazy 4 booksSubstitute teacher who ignores lesson plans, plays iPhone poker, and encourages sport-related chaosVia he got fired i think
Middlesex BankVia in the middle of sexNorth Middlesex BankVia rip the best bankMain Street Bank (Formerly North Middlesex Bank)Via not on main street btwNorthern BankVia not to be confused with north middlesexEnterprise BankVia I'm not enterprising enough to go hereCitizen’s BankVia are you a citizen? here's a bankBank of AmericaVia god bless the usaDigital Federal Credit UnionVia only nerds use this bankThe ATM inside GW Archer Gas & ConvenienceVia honestly they have great interest rates
White Boy who’s very enthusiastic about Spanish Class, but opposes immigration reformVia did he write despacito?Teenage student who, for some reason, is the only technical staff member at Littleton High School??Via real adults get benefits, lmaooBoy who has no varying facial expressions and is going to be an engineerVia make him smileBoy who wants to be Finn from Glee but isn’t good enough at either singing or footballVia no shade, buddyExtremely Loud Son of the Local DentistVia he haunts my nightmares stillWhite boy who really wants to be a policeman, and is for some reason already friends with every cop in LittletonVia license & registration, please?Boy who drinks an entire gallon milk jug full of water throughout the course of a single class (because the game is tonight, obviously)Via hydrate or die-drateBoy who passionately campaigned for Bernie Sanders, but “doesn’t really buy” the concept of white privilegeVia fight meBudding serial killer who exclusively wears Abercrombie & FitchVia :(
Trip Wire on top of the stairsVia a classic!Crickets in the wiringVia chirp chirpBeer Pong in the HallwayVia it's a sportExtremely Inappropriate Drawings of Teachers plastered to the wallsVia yikersRotting fish in the ceilingVia good onePoop piñataVia to be clear, it was full of real poopMassive Poop Pile in Principal’s Parking SpotVia where are they getting all this poopFox Urine in the HallsVia this one was a little too predictable, tbhVaseline EVERYWHEREVia this one was actually sponsored
Which Quintessential Littleton Thing Are You?
Wow! You're the principal of Littleton High School. Your hands may be small, but your grip on discipline is .... well, weak. You're also extremely scared of Bears, teenagers, and assertive women. But hey, you sure love your school! Or at least you love improving standardized test scores across the board, and increasing athletics funding.... Same thing.
Every December, the people of Littleton gather in the Middle School Gymnasium to buy and sell extremely average homemade goods, to disappoint their family members with in the Yuletide season. Though everyone will be extremely careful to say "Happy Holidays", make no mistake, they're definitely only talking about Christmas. Getting your picture taken with Santa (who will definitely say something vaguely sexually charged), buying a brown mohair scarf from an overzealous Church lady, or giving Sad Teens a little money so they can continue to sing and dance in their little drama club is what you're all about. How Sweet (?)
Coach of the Littleton Tigers (2013 MIAA Division 6 State Football Champs) first, High School Gym Teacher second, devoted father third. You're not a guy who reveals what he's thinking very often, but you once a year you will ask for Classic Rock to be played in the cafeteria at Lunch, and you can always be counted on to make 10 minute long sports-specific announcements over the loudspeaker to the whole school at the end of each day in your flat, booming Boston accent. Gee, thanks Coach!
They may call you an old lady, but make no mistake - you run this town. Whether you're volunteering at the town thrift store, swing dancing with an old flame, playing a round of bingo with the gals, or taking an Asian Fusion cooking class, you know how to party. This is the life! Oh and yes, you did vote for Trump. Whoopsie!
Clocking in at a whopping 1,423 members, you're everybody's way of staying in touch with old Littletonians, keeping up to date on town happenings, or promoting your new locally self-published book about your mother, who was a basketball coach. You're chock full of people looking for an exact Ayer-Area phone booth from 1967 (this isn't Ayer, Ed! LOL!), or posting vaguely ominous and unclear poetry about how millennials have ruined the town. Whatever would we do without you??
You may be called Acton Toyota, but you're definitely located in Littleton. Right in the the center of Littleton. Not in our neighbouring town Acton. You should really change your name. Though your large, monstrous, and ill-placed facility rests on the plot of a precious and now demolished Littleton Landmark, Herpy's Pool & Dairy, you've become something of a town fixture yourself. You can always spot an Acton Toyota employee in a shiny, tight, polyester Polo Shirt crossing the main road (there's no crosswalk!) whenever the traffic is most intense. Those boys will do whatever they have to get to Dunks, and presumably, whatever they have to get you to buy a toyota.
Though technically you're located on the Westford/Littleton Border, there's no way we couldn't include you on our list! Once a humble ice cream stand, you're now a one-stop-shop for ice cream, a driving range, a tethered hot air balloon, bumper boats, bumper cars, mini golf, an arcade, a fish and chips shack, a quaint country store, a zip line, and a large and impressive Corporate Event area (hear that Diane? The perfect spot for your company's next retreat!). You're Middlesex County's best ploy at fooling City Slickers into thinking they're visiting the ol' colonial country, and not suburbs full of.... commuters to the same city. What a family-friendly trickster you are, hee-hee!
By day: a greasy but popular pizza and sub shoppe (yes, the -pe is essential) within walking distance of the middle school. Overlooking the common, you are a beacon of hope, of all-american sustenance, a reassurance that Littleton still has a grasp on old-timey, mom & pop shop charm. By night: the sleaziest, booziest joint in town, Pub on the Common. The worst of the worst come out to drown their sorrows, and complain to one another about their wives. I actually have no idea. Has anyone ever actually visited this establishment? Why? Where do you park? Who cares?
The year was 2016, when ye olde town of Littleton had to make a choice. A pressing matter had arisen. To build a state of the art, astro-turf football field for like, a max of 20 teen boys to use, to build, to grow, or to use funding for actually important town things. What an impossible decision. I'm betting you can guess who won. Go Tigers! (2013 MIAA Division 6 State Football Champs)