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17 Problems All Russian Immigrants In The UK Will Understand

Not all Iron Curtain expats get an easy ride in capitalist heaven.

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1. When you tell people you have a dacha, they think you have a posh house in the country

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It's a log cabin with an outdoor toilet.

2. Your English other half retches and makes faces when you eat pickled herring.

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It's freaking delicious with vodka!

3. You constantly get asked why you don't smile.

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Bitchy Resting Face is Normal Face among Russians.

4. No-one can understand the concept of silent letters in the Russian alphabet.

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They just change the way the letter in front of them sounds. So simple.

5. No-one can understand why there are 33 letters in the Russian alphabet either.

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The Cyrillic alphabet has extra letters for 'sh', 'ch' and others. How does English work without them?

6. You never know if you should put a 'the' in front of a noun so you put it in front of every noun just in case.

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There is no 'a' or 'the' in the Russian language.

7. People keep asking you "Do you think in Russian or in English?"

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8. And "Where do you like living more, in Russia or in England?"

9. Everyone thinks you love Putin.

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We think he's a crazy dictator.

10. Everyone is a little bit scared of you because they think Russians are crazy.

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Although sometimes that works in your favour because you can get away with doing crazy stuff.

11. But in fact you often feel ashamed of your rude and obnoxious countrymen.

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Stop giving us a bad name!

12. No-one else seems to realise that hair of the dog is the ONLY good way to cure a hangover, which makes you look like an alcoholic when you suggest it.

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Toast and water? Don't be an idiot.

13. If there are no Polish shops near you, you have to buy sunflower seeds in pet shops!

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Then you can roast them and eat them for an amazing tasty snack.

14. If you want to go visit the Motherland, you have to pay ridiculous money to British Airways or Aeroflot.

15. Everyone thinks you must be desperate to talk to other Russians so, you're always getting introduced to people you have nothing in common with.

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"Hello, we both speak the same language, let's be BFF's!"

16. People look at you like you're in the Mafia after you tell stories involving bribing policemen and government officials...

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Even though it's just a fact of everyday life over there.

17. And generally dismiss Russia as a country of crime and corruption.

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As if the UK is perfect....

Which is annoying because despite all its problems, Russia is still an amazing country.

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