EIGHTEEN MILLION people live in New York City. So why must, on rainy days, half of us suffer from what is known as "Sporatic Umbrella Misconduct" (well, in my mind it's known as that)?
Actually, I'm pretty sure that's a law-type thing. Isn't it? There's a rule in Indiana that you can't have a pet giraffe- why should this be any different??
Let me explain. Sporatic Umbrella Misconduct is executed by nine types of hideous people. I'm sure they're grandmothers or celebrities or really sweet seven year olds or whatever, but they are AWFUL. They use their umbrellas for EVIL, and expose such evils on us mere law-abiding citizens with umbrellas.
We, the former of the two, understand concepts such as "personal space" and "if-it's-not-raining-there-is-no-need-for-a-freaking-rain-protector-(!!!)". The latter? They only understand concepts like "jfaklsf" and "owierjfs".
That's right- they're idiots. They can't even spell! What morons!! Look for these folks next time it's raining in this fair city, and make sure to take the law in to your own hands...
Actually, don't do that. Policemen have tasers.