1. Right Outside The White House
sethrubinphotography.com
The Secret Service would not be amused.
2. On A Hot Air Balloon
celebrationaviation.com
Pro tip: You can launch fireworks into the air from the ground. You do not have to be up in the air to begin with.
3. Under A Thatched Roof
4. At A Golf Tournament
media.commercialappeal.com
Fireworks are supposed to be fun, whereas golf is not.
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5. At The Movies
6. Near Your Cat
iam.cat
Cats have enough to worry about as it is.
7. Anywhere Near A Cloned T-Rex
8. At Your Local Public Library
franklinparishlibrary.org[1].jpg
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9. The Sistine Chapel
digilander.libero.it
They'd like to keep all those fingers, thankyouverymuch.
10. Inside A Pumpkin
View this video on YouTube
You'll piss off the old guy.
11. Within Accidental Burning Distance Of The Constitution
static.icivics.org
We know you're fired up about the Constitution. But you will be in deep bald eagle shit if you set it on fire.
12. Next To The World's Largest House Of Cards
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13. At A Funeral
i.lv3.hbo.com
Don't be that guy.
14. In Your Hand
15. On Top Of An iPhone
16. Near A Wooden iPhone Holder Shaped Like A Hand
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17. In States Where All Consumer Fireworks Are Illegal, Like Massachusetts...
18. New Jersey...
19. And Delaware
abusegroup.com
Now you know something about Delaware!
20. In A Redwood Forest
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21. At A Performance Of John Cage's 4'33"
View this video on YouTube
22. Inside A Fireworks Factory
thefireworkshoplist.com
Exploding fireworks factories are not even remotely cool in real life.
23. North Korea
topnews.in
Kim Jong Un would not share your enthusiasm.
HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY, EVERYONE!
