Let's face it — we've all experienced a date-gone-wrong or two. In the aftermath of things going totally off the rails, we're usually too consumed in our own embarrassment to realize that most failed dates usually have a witness: the people serving us. (Who, let's face it, absorb far more than we'd ever realize in the moment.)
To that end, Redditor u/murderbirdie asked the servers of Reddit to share their "best date-gone-wrong" story...and all I have to say is yikes, yikes, YIKES. Prep yourself for some serious secondhand embarrassment, folks.
And remember: Servers. Never. Forget.
1. "I once served an old friend's dad on a date with his girlfriend. I was unaware that he and my friend's mom had split up, so on my break I texted her my condolences. Long story short, her parents were not split up. But, because I jumped to conclusions, they are now."
2. "I work at a local restaurant. When we first opened about three years ago, we had some guy come in with his girlfriend for dinner. All was going well! They're eating, drinking, and having a nice time...when all of a sudden, this guy's actual longtime-girlfriend's sister comes in to eat with one of her friends. She decided to stop by and introduce herself. She said she was what's his name's 'girlfriend's sister,' and the girl he was on the date with totally flipped out."
"She threw her drink at him and stormed out, so he ran out after her. I watched from the window as she smacked him in the head with her purse — it wasn't a small one, either — and then she got into his car. That's an awkward ride home, right?
To this day, I honestly still wonder if he somehow managed to preserve EITHER of his relationships that night..."
3. "I waited tables in a very small, very conservative town when I was in college. The town was so small, in fact, that we were one of the only restaurants in the entire town. I had an early 20s couple come in one Saturday night and it was obvious that they were on a first date. The guy was trying to impress the girl by being a real douche to me — ordering me around and belittling me whenever he saw the opportunity to. I can handle that. Just kill 'em with kindness. So, every time he was condescending or shitty to me, I just gave a nice 'yes sir' or 'right away, sir' and did my job. I mean, he was so rude that even the other servers noticed. When he barked at me for his check, I promptly provided it for him. As he took his wallet out of his pocket, he dropped a condom on the ground. I picked it up and put it in on the table between both of them, and said: 'Sir, you dropped this.'"
"He denied that it was his, so I said 'yes it is, I just saw it fall out of your pocket.' His date was furious. She immediately asked: 'What's that for? What did you think was going to happen tonight? We just met!' (Reminder: conservative town!)
He tried to play it off cool, but she got up and exclaimed: 'Pay the bill and take me home now!' She then turned to me and apologized, and walked away. I gave him his change right there, and he said 'thanks, bro.' Of course, I didn't get a tip...but another table next to them saw the whole thing and became some of my best regulars."
4. "I once served a blind date. She got up to go to the bathroom and he told me to 'guess how old she was.' Weird request, but whatever. It turned out she was about ten years older than she looked...and he wasn't thrilled about it."
"He told me he was thinking about bailing, but he ended up sticking it out regardless. They were the last table in the restaurant, and when the busser started cleaning near them, he threw a total fit and acted like they were getting kicked out...but he probably just wanted an excuse to leave. Oddly enough, he tipped pretty well!"
5. "I used to be the kitchen manager and head cook at a restaurant, and on this particular night, I was called to a guest's table — it was one of those 'we want to meet the chef' things. I put on a new chef coat and went out to the furthest corner of the dining room to where, earlier in the night, we all noticed that the people there had asked to have the lights turned down. As I'm going there, one of my server friends says quietly: 'buckle up for that.' I get to the table and greet a very well-dressed college kid, probably no older than 20, who isn't drinking or eating. He's sweating profusely while sitting straight up in his seat like a mannequin. Then, I look at his date. She was probably in her 50s or 60s with a super aggressive fake tan."
"She's grinning at the guy, and in a split second I could tell she was using her feet to rub the guy's crotch under the table. I exchanged some pleasantries with them for a minute and the guy asked if he could see the kitchen real quick — apparently, he used to work at the 'same restaurant but in a different city.' I say sure, we'll be right back, and as soon as we're out of earshot he says that his friends had 'set him up on a blind date' and that the woman was a prostitute. I mean, this kid was absolutely terrified, so I told him I'd let him out the back door through the kitchen, if he wanted. I haven't seen anyone power walk to their car like that in my entire life, and with that, he fled. The best part? The lady he was with paid for both of their meals and left a very large tip."
6. "I work at a bar, and there was this one particular couple that would come in fairly often. One day, they were sitting at the end of the bar — in their usual spots. I had just taken their order when I overhear him say something to the effect of 'I just feel like we're going through the motions, you know?' He literally dumped her while they were waiting for their food. So, after a few awkward minutes of talking (and her crying, for very obvious reasons), he asked if we could make their food 'to go.' As uncomfortable as I was, everyone else sitting at the bar — who heard every single word of the very public break-up — looked absolutely stunned."
7. "I was serving a couple that looked like something was up — they were having a loooooong cocktail-and-dinner type date. Too long, really. I didn't think it was too extraordinary until the woman found me outside the restroom and told me that her husband asked her for a divorce. She hugged me and sobbed on my shoulder for, like, 10 minutes...to be clear, she was not a regular, and I never met her until that night. Just to say it: 10 minutes is pretty much forever in server time, so I was super happy that we weren't busy — I had no food coming up, and I had my friend tend to my other table while I consoled her. It would have been awful to blow her off."
8. "I had this one couple dine in one night, and they had the full prix fixe menu. The guy had mentioned to our host that he was proposing, so he arranged a bottle of champagne to be delivered to the table once dessert was ordered — that's when he'd pop the question. Dessert finally gets ordered, and there's a looooong, very awkward silence at the table. She's tearing up, grabs her purse, apologizes, and leaves."
"Thankfully, we had all been keeping an eye on them...I mean, obviously we wanted to see a cute 'yes!' moment. As a result, the server didn't put through the order for the champagne, and thank god he didn't. We all could see it was a rejection. Ten minutes later, his parents arrive and tell the host that they're 'so excited to meet their future daughter-in-law!' I'll never forget that poor host's face as she led them over to his table. Just him. All alone."
9. "After some clubbing, these two guys brought two girls into my diner with them. The guys knew each other, but the girls didn't, so they were chatting and getting to know each other. They ordered food and everything was going well, until Girl A reached over and took some of Girl B's fries. Girl B warns her, 'don't take my damn fries!' Girl A thinks she's joking, so she laughs and takes some more."
"All of a sudden, Girl B reaches over and decks this girl in the face. She yells: 'I TOLD YOU NOT TO TAKE MY DAMN FRIES, BITCH!' Girl A starts fighting back and the guys (absolutely wasted) are trying to register what's happening. Eventually, my manager and the guys pull them apart and they leave. Girl B walks out of the diner with the group of guys, but Girl A decides to stay and call her friend to come get her. Turns out fries can pretty much be the ultimate cockblock."
10. "I worked at a popular chain restaurant as my first job ever. On Tuesdays, we always hosted a trivia night where each table who wanted to participate could make a team name and answer various questions asked over the loud speaker. One Tuesday, there was this table with two people, clearly on a date, but the guy was basically on his phone the entire time. Even as their server, it was impossible not to notice — I passed by a few times, and you could totally tell he was texting someone else while on this date. Needless to say, the woman he was with wasn't too pleased."
"She decided to try and have a good time anyway, so she joined in on trivia. When it was time to announce the team names over the speaker, she chose the name: "No sex for him tonight!" The entire restaurant got a good laugh...but the guy didn't even notice because he was TOO BUSY TEXTING OTHER WOMEN ON HIS PHONE."
11. "I'm a bartender, so I've witnessed many a Tinder date at my bar. Two people came in one night, and I just knew: Tinder. The conversation started with the guy saying: 'I have 7 panther tattoos. I just feel like I really identify with the Panther.' Somewhere after that, he spotted my tattoo (of some molecular structures) and asked what they were. I explained, and he responded with 'I'm more of an anatomy man myself — wink.' After that, I heard a snippet of: 'All of my past infidelities were never my fault. All the girls seduced me. I'm just a man that can't say no.' The date ended when he asked the woman what she would do if she 'broke her leg while mowing the lawn.' The poor lady just looked at me and said: 'We're ready for the check,' with the most defeated look on her face I've ever seen."
12. "I was working at this restaurant when a guy called in to make a reservation. He told us that he was planning to propose, so he asked for a special table and for dessert to come out with "will you marry me?" written on it. Pretty classic."
"When the big day came around, he and his soon-to-be fiancé came in. It was time for dessert, so I brought out the cake. My manager follows me with two glasses of champagne, and my co-workers are cheering. We set everything down and walk away.
They end up having a serious, quiet discussion and it is very obvious that she is rejecting the proposal. Then, three of their friends show up and sit at the table all excited, thinking their friends just got engaged...but, it quickly became apparent to them that that was not the case. The woman who was being proposed to left, and the guy and his friends got absolutely wasted. Truth be told, I don't blame them. He gave me a 20% tip too, which was nice considering how shitty his night had been."
13. "I'm working one night, and the host told me that he just sat a party of four in my section. I approach the table, and it's two guys and two girls. Pretty clearly a double-date, from the looks of it. Toward the end of the night, one of the girls gets up to use the restroom and the other girl at the table leans in and whispers to me saying that it's the other girl's birthday. This happens all the time, so I know exactly what she's looking for. I put the order in. A few minutes later, the cake is ready and the food runner brings it to the wait station...but the girl is nowhere to be found. So, I leave it there for what seemed like ages, until I spot her hastily walking out from the bathroom back to her table. I gather all the other servers that I possibly can, a bartender, the food runner, and even the cook who made the cake — just for good measure. This is her special day, so let's make this a night to remember, right?!"
"We light the candle and walk to the table, and the birthday girl is in tears. Like, straight up bawling. Like her dog just died and boyfriend broke up with her all-at-the-same-time kind of crying.
This never happened to me before. Honestly, I had other tables to attend to (and no time for this), but I was the only one singing. The crowd of employees, the table, the entire restaurant, all dead silent during my aria. Should I have stopped? Not sure, all I know is that I didn't stop. I sang the whole damn song by myself and when it came to the 'happy birthday, dear [insert name here],' I didn't know the crying lady's name, so I just kind of mumbled: "happy birthday, dear hmmmhmmhmm." At the end of the song, I just placed the cake down and walked back to grab their check, even though they hadn't asked for it."
14. "I was serving one night, and two (separate) couples were seated at adjacent tables, having lovely dinners. Suddenly, one of the ladies SCREAMED. Champagne glasses had been delivered to their table — one with a diamond ring in it. As you might have guessed, the wrong couple got the ring, and the look of horror on both the gentlemen's faces was quite the sight. I happened to be serving the other couple at the time, and the only thing that sprung to mind was to drop my tray as a distraction. It...kiiiiiiinda worked, as with the loud clatter all attention suddenly went to me, while my colleague managed to quickly apologize for the mix-up. I'd say we half-rescued the situation. Still felt awful for the gents, though!"
15. "Honestly, still can't believe this was real life. Prime steakhouse. Couple arguing. All of a sudden, the lady FLIPS THE WHOLE TABLE OVER. Food, glasses, flatware, all broken. Gigantic mess. She storms out. The guy helps me clean up, and left a 20% tip. Truly, can't make this shit up."
16. "A guy made a reservation and asked for a private table because he was going to — get ready for it — break up with his girlfriend over dinner. Before they even arrived, our entire restaurant staff knew that they were going to break up. What can I tell ya? Word travels quickly in restaurants. She orders an appetizer, bar drink and one of our pricier meals. He gets a side salad and water. Anyway, they left without breaking up. Guess he chickened out."
17. "Recently, I had this couple that was obviously on their first date, and the poor guy was SO visibly nervous that he was just sitting there with these wide deer-in-the-headlights eyes, profusely sweating. Like, he was drenched. Truth be told, I think they exchanged a total of three entire words throughout the course of the date. When I took the guy's order, his voice cracked in a way I honestly didn't think was humanly possible, and yes, it really made the situation that much worse. Poor guy. Hope he's doing alright!"
18. "Not sure if this is totally a 'date-gone-wrong,' but... I was serving a guy who was very obviously being stood up. He made a reservation in advance, came in about 10 minutes early, and he seemed pretty calm...but he was constantly checking his watch and phone. 30 minutes pass: he orders a large pizza. Another 20 minutes pass: his pizza arrives and is placed in front of him. At this point, I'm feeling really bad, but honestly have no idea what to do. He leaves the pizza untouched for about 15 minutes before finally having a couple of slices. About an hour and a half after he originally arrived, he decides to leave. He's about to pack up his pizza when one of the other servers decides to take her break, and she chooses to sit with him. I stopped working there a couple months later, but as far as I know, they're still dating to this day."
If you have any awkward date stories to share, let us know in the comments! (I'm truly dying to hear them.)
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.