back to top

Here's What It's Like For A Woman To Be Told To "Lose Weight" By A Man Online

This conversation is the definition of "Bye Felipe".

Posted on

Being sent harassing or hostile messages online is a problem some women commonly experience – and yesterday, it happened to Christina Topacio.

Topacio is an entertainer and marketing director who regularly shares stylish photos of herself with friends and followers on her blog.

πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§ I'll be at #BeautyConLondon 5/23, are you going to be there? I'm ready for bangers + mash and saucy manbuns πŸ’‚πŸ½πŸ™‹πŸ½

Yesterday, she was contacted by a man online who sent her the following messages:

He proceeded to tell her he "would consider dating her" but that she needed to "lose weight".

He ended by saying that "maybe he's a superficial asshole" but that it's the only reason "he hasn't made something happen."

Topacio told BuzzFeed News that she shared the screengrabs to talk about "how damaging relationships like these are".

Being told I need to "fucking lose weight" so much it kills someone and it being the ONLY reason why a man doesn't want me is beyond..

She hoped by sharing the conversation, she could "help cause the change we need to start seeing about how men abuse women in such a way."

Topacio’s original tweet was quickly retweeted hundreds of times, and her Twitter followers were shocked by the body-shaming comments:

@profreshstyle I mean, beside the fact that fat shaming is so lame, as if your date-ability by a man determines your worth as a woman.

I can't believe some weirdo told @profreshstyle to lose weight!? She's gorgeous! If she's fat. God help the rest of us!!!

In case you were struggling with your field identification of a "douchebag", here's one. https://t.co/MSTqv338KZ

This dude is the epitome of BASIC. Get off your computer and go find your happiness. Get out of her life #BYE https://t.co/9aiEWa4vgY

It was then shared on Bye Felipe, the Instagram account that compiles harassing and hostile messages men send to women after being rejected or ignored.

Alexandra Tweten, the woman behind Bye Felipe, said she created the account to share messages like Topacio's to show men what it's like to be a woman online.

"Since creating Bye Felipe, it has become apparent that a standard trajectory of discourse with men online is this: Man hits on woman, woman rejects or ignores him, man lashes out with insults or even threats," she said in an article for Ms Magazine.

"Censoring these messages may help in the short term, but the messages featured on Bye Felipe are like an immortalised version of the catcalls and threats women receive on the the street every day, just walking around and existing."

But despite the grim messages she received, Topaci responded to the stranger in the best way possible: