13 Victoria Wood Sketches That Will Make You Giggle
The much-loved comedian died from cancer on 20 April aged 62, her publicist announced.
1. "The Ballad of Barry and Freda (Let's Do It)"
"Let's do it, let's do it, I really want to run amok / Let's wiggle, let's jiggle, let's really make the rafters rock / Be mighty, be flighty, come and melt the buttons on me flame-proof nighty / Let's do it, let's do it tonight.
"Let's do it, let's do it, I really want to rant and rave / Let's go, cos I know just how I want you to behave / Not bleakly, not meekly, beat me on the bottom with the Woman's Weekly / Let's do it, let's do it tonight."
2. This stand-up routine about ageing.
"You love texting, you love getting texts and texting back, as long as you can hold the phone near the window."
3. The café sketch, featuring Julie Walters.
"Are prawns an aphrodisiac?"
"I wouldn't put it past them."
4. The "two soups" sketch.
5. This song about political correctness.
"But there's a term I'm rather fond of and to use I do hanker... [long pause] / It's not heard in Casablanca, the little word is wanker and as a term it's had its chips."
6. Absolutely anything from Acorn Antiques.
7. This bus stop sketch.
"He said, 'Do you want a drink or do you want a kick up the bum with an open-toed sandal?'"
8. This quite wonderful send-up of a step aerobics classes.
"If anyone feels faint during this, just have a whiff of Pauline's leotard. That'd bring a lamb chop back to life, that, wouldn't it."
9. "Is it on the trolley?"
"Just coffee for me too, please."
"Coffees what? Have you seen it? Have you seen it on the trolley?"
"Just two coffees, no sweet."
"Just two coffees, no sweet?"
"Have you seen it on the trolley?"
"Yes, thank you."
"Is it a sorbet?"
"Just two coffees, thank you."
"Can you point at it?"
10. The Turkish bath sketch.
"It's getting embarrassing, men coming round to collect their wives and you're saying, 'I'm sorry she's dead but here's here's her teeth in a Jiffy bag.'"
11. This routine about being pregnant.
"We've got two chemists where we live, a tiny old-fashioned one and a new one. A few years ago if you went in to buy a condom they'd sell you a shower cap and a rubber band."
12. This Christmas-themed song about former Conservative minister Anne Widdecombe.
"Ann Widdecombe, Ann Widdecombe, that's who we want to see (We agree) / Not Santa Claus, not Zoe Ball, not William Hague. He's too vague (He is quite vague)"
13. This song about reincarnation.
"Well, I'm sorry, God, I have to say, one life per person is not enough / I would like to live more times than this, if you don't agree then tough, T-U-uff."