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    28 Things Pregnant Women Do That Regular People Could Never Get Away With

    "I love you, but your smell makes me throw up in my mouth a little."

    1. Put headphones on their bellies then just sit there as though that's perfectly normal.

    2. Wear badges that tell everyone about the state of their uterus.

    3. Rub their bellies in public, like a cartoon of someone looking forward to a steak dinner.

    4. Skip the toilet queue.

    5. Lust after clothes that are at least 23 sizes too small.

    6. Get really emotional about food.

    7. Rejoice every time they go up a dress size.

    8. Lie to people for three straight months without anyone getting upset with them.

    9. Enjoy endorsed napping.

    10. Send you out for random food at 2am, then vomit as soon as they take a mouthful.

    11. Puke in a public place, into a specially assigned bag, then carry on as though nothing happened.

    12. In fact, vomit daily for three months straight without everyone getting very worried.

    13. Ruminate loudly and at length about the pros and cons of different names.

    14. Be smug about not having to buy sanitary products for nine months.

    15. Openly discuss boob issues with other pregnant women.

    16. Have someone else carry their bags for them.

    17. Laugh so hard they pee themselves.

    18. Basically walk around in a nappy to address this issue.

    19. Religiously note down every public toilet on a planned excursion.

    20. Take upwards of 20 seconds to get out of a chair.

    21. Legitimately ask people to stay away if they have contagious viruses.

    22. Express a desire to eat inedible things like soil, coal or bath sponges.

    23. Buy and use big weird pillows that take up most of the bed.

    24. Make their bellies dance for friends and family.

    25. Forget people's names, and the location of their keys, without causing offence.

    26. Take a different route to work because the one they normally use "smelled weird".

    27. Have mind-blowing, apocalyptic wind.

    28. Oh yeah, and gestate and expel a living human being.