28 Things Pregnant Women Do That Regular People Could Never Get Away With
"I love you, but your smell makes me throw up in my mouth a little."
Put headphones on their bellies then just sit there as though that's perfectly normal.
Wear badges that tell everyone about the state of their uterus.
Rub their bellies in public, like a cartoon of someone looking forward to a steak dinner.
Lust after clothes that are at least 23 sizes too small.
Rejoice every time they go up a dress size.
Lie to people for three straight months without anyone getting upset with them.
Send you out for random food at 2am, then vomit as soon as they take a mouthful.
Puke in a public place, into a specially assigned bag, then carry on as though nothing happened.
In fact, vomit daily for three months straight without everyone getting very worried.
Be smug about not having to buy sanitary products for nine months.
Openly discuss boob issues with other pregnant women.
Have someone else carry their bags for them.
Basically walk around in a nappy to address this issue.
Religiously note down every public toilet on a planned excursion.
Legitimately ask people to stay away if they have contagious viruses.
Express a desire to eat inedible things like soil, coal or bath sponges.
Buy and use big weird pillows that take up most of the bed.
Forget people's names, and the location of their keys, without causing offence.
Have mind-blowing, apocalyptic wind.
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