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    Posted on Apr 1, 2014

    25 Struggles Only Yo-Yo Dieters Will Truly Understand

    Atkins. Check. South Beach. Check. Keto. Checkcheckcheckcheck.

    1. You can instantly tell the date of old photos from your waist-to-hip ratio.

    2. This information no longer shocks you.

    Flickr: thenext28days / Creative Commons

    In fact, whenever you see this photo anywhere, you just nod wisely. You know, like you're doing right now.

    3. You own so many different-sized clothes that your wardrobe looks like an ineptly stocked branch of H&M.

    Buena Vista / giphy.com

    4. And because you're never really one size for very long, everything you own is a sale item.

    Flickr: comicbase / Creative Commons

    5. Which gives you a very unique, um, style.

    Flickr: jannem / Creative Commons

    6. You know every restaurant in town that serves salad, and have committed all three of their menus to memory.

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    7. You know what these words mean: Glycogen. Shirakati noodles. Raspberry ketones.

    upload.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons

    This information is of no use to anyone but you.

    8. Yo-yo dieting changes your appearance so often that you're used to people not recognising you in the street.

    Warner Bros. / giphy.com

    9. And you look nothing like your passport photo.

    10. Amazon has stopped recommending actual literature, and now just shows you books with "eat" in the title.

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    It's as though it's trying to tell you something.

    11. But the main reason you own a Kindle is so that no one on the train can judge you for reading Skinny Bitch.

    12. ...again.

    commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons

    13. You've tried pretty much every diet out there, but when you find a new one, it's a little like falling in love.

    14. And you learn as much as you can about it.

    15. Mainly so that you can break its rules.

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    Yeah, take that, the system!

    16. You're so diet brainwashed that, even when you're not dieting, you still have sex dreams about pizza.

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    Oh, pizza.

    PIIIIIIIIIIIZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUNNGG.

    17. Your friends hate it when you talk about your diet.

    18. And sometimes you feel a little bad about being this person.

    Nataliya Hora / Shutterstock / Robyn Wilder

    19. When you used to be this person.

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    (At least, that's what you tell yourself.)

    20. But! If one of your friends wants to lose a little weight, who do they come to?

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    21. Because you can see the carb and fat content in food in exactly the way Neo can see the code behind the world in The Matrix.

    Warner Bros. / giphy.com
    Warner Bros. / giphy.com

    22. Because you can make delicious, carb-free cauliflower mash with your eyes closed.

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    23. Because you'll know exactly the right thing to do, and say.

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    24. And because you can help them make lifestyle changes, get motivated, and lose weight the right way.

    25. And look! Suddenly you're this person again.

    AAAAAAAAYYYY!

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