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How Unbearable A Commuter Are You?


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  1. 1. Tick all the following that you've done on public transport...

    Fallen asleep and missed your stop?
    Fallen asleep on another person?
    Spent an entire journey sniffing wetly?
    Aggressively offered a wet-sniffer a tissue?
    Coughed on a passenger?
    Sneezed on a stranger?
    Skipped a train fare?
    Snuck through the ticket barrier?
    Argued with a bus driver?
    Held the train doors open?
    Glared at someone who beat you to an empty seat?
    “Accidentally” bumped your bag against them in revenge?
    Put your feet up on the seat?
    Chosen the aisle seat even though the window seat is free?
    Put your bag on the empty window seat?
    Got visibly annoyed when someone asked you to move it so they could sit down?
    Taken up all the space on a shared armrest?
    Accidentally brushed hands with a stranger?
    Left your hand there a bit too long?
    Ignored elderly or disabled people in order to keep your seat?
    Ignored a pregnant woman to keep your seat?
    Considered getting your own ‘Baby on Board’ badge despite not being pregnant?
    Or technically female?
    ACTUALLY GOT, and fraudulently worn, a ‘Baby on Board’ badge to get a seat?
    Got on a bus or train without letting people get off?
    Demanded that people move down the train?
    Been asked to move down the train and pretended not to hear?
    Elbowed your way onboard complaining about how people don’t move down?
    Leant your entire torso against a pole that other people are trying to hold onto?
    Held a newspaper fully open during crowded conditions?
    Rested your newspaper or book on the head of a short person or child?
    Listened to loud music through cheap earphones?
    Listened to loud music with only one earphone in?
    Had a loud phone conversation?
    Had a loud phone conversation before 9am?
    Smacked a stranger with your rucksack?
    Chewed gum with your mouth open?
    Eaten a piece of fruit?
    Eaten a sandwich?
    Eaten a burger?
    Eaten a kebab?
    Eaten raw garlic?
    Shelled pistachios and eaten them?
    Eaten meat or fish straight from the container?
    Eaten a meal using cutlery?
    While standing?
    Shouted at a stranger for pushing you?
    For the entire journey?
    Pushed someone then ignored them as they shouted at you?
    Laid down on the floor?
    Snogged someone?
    Snogged someone with someone else sitting right next to you?
    Picked your nose?
    Picked your nose while maintaining eye contact with a stranger?
    Vomited, urinated, or defecated, then covered the mess with a newspaper?
    Hurt someone in a crowd?
    Hurt someone without apologising?
    Accidentally wiped your genitals across a stranger?
    Deliberately wiped your genitals across a stranger?
    Stopped to check your phone, right in front of the ticket barriers, at rush hour.

How Unbearable A Commuter Are You?

You're an awesome commuter! Considerate and quiet with an abiding respect for personal space. I'm no scientist, but it's safe to say that if all commuters were like you, there would be no war.

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ABC / Via
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You're a decent commuter. You're just trying to make it through the commute alive - that means locking it down and taking a free seat where you can get it, so long as you don't hurt anyone else.

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Big Talk / Via sites.localhost
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You're beating the system! Commuting is no joke so you make sure yours is as comfortable as possible. Although you tell yourself you don't care what anyone else thinks, try giving up your seat for someone else once in a while - after all, we're all in this together.

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Columbia / Via
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Oh, the humanity. You are an unbearable commuter and must be stopped. Get a car, or work from home. Or have you considered skateboarding?

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