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How Unbearable A Commuter Are You?

CAN YOU MOVE DOWN, PLEASE?

Posted on
connel / Shutterstock.com
  1. Tick all the following that you've done on public transport...

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    Fallen asleep and missed your stop?
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    Fallen asleep on another person?
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    Spent an entire journey sniffing wetly?
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    Aggressively offered a wet-sniffer a tissue?
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    Coughed on a passenger?
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    Sneezed on a stranger?
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    Skipped a train fare?
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    Snuck through the ticket barrier?
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    Argued with a bus driver?
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    Held the train doors open?
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    Glared at someone who beat you to an empty seat?
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    “Accidentally” bumped your bag against them in revenge?
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    Put your feet up on the seat?
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    Littered?
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    Chosen the aisle seat even though the window seat is free?
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    Put your bag on the empty window seat?
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    Got visibly annoyed when someone asked you to move it so they could sit down?
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    Taken up all the space on a shared armrest?
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    Accidentally brushed hands with a stranger?
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    Left your hand there a bit too long?
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    Ignored elderly or disabled people in order to keep your seat?
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    Ignored a pregnant woman to keep your seat?
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    Considered getting your own ‘Baby on Board’ badge despite not being pregnant?
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    Or technically female?
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    ACTUALLY GOT, and fraudulently worn, a ‘Baby on Board’ badge to get a seat?
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    Got on a bus or train without letting people get off?
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    Demanded that people move down the train?
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    Been asked to move down the train and pretended not to hear?
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    Elbowed your way onboard complaining about how people don’t move down?
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    Leant your entire torso against a pole that other people are trying to hold onto?
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    Held a newspaper fully open during crowded conditions?
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    Rested your newspaper or book on the head of a short person or child?
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    Listened to loud music through cheap earphones?
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    Listened to loud music with only one earphone in?
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    Had a loud phone conversation?
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    Had a loud phone conversation before 9am?
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    Smacked a stranger with your rucksack?
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    Sung?
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    Danced?
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    Chewed gum with your mouth open?
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    Eaten a piece of fruit?
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    Eaten a sandwich?
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    Eaten a burger?
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    Eaten a kebab?
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    Eaten raw garlic?
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    Shelled pistachios and eaten them?
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    Eaten meat or fish straight from the container?
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    Eaten a meal using cutlery?
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    While standing?
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    Shouted at a stranger for pushing you?
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    For the entire journey?
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    Pushed someone then ignored them as they shouted at you?
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    Laid down on the floor?
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    Snogged someone?
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    Snogged someone with someone else sitting right next to you?
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    Picked your nose?
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    Picked your nose while maintaining eye contact with a stranger?
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    Vomited?
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    Urinated?
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    Defecated?
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    Vomited, urinated, or defecated, then covered the mess with a newspaper?
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    Hurt someone in a crowd?
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    Hurt someone without apologising?
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    Accidentally wiped your genitals across a stranger?
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    Deliberately wiped your genitals across a stranger?
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    Stopped to check your phone, right in front of the ticket barriers, at rush hour.
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