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Men And Women Tried Gendered Umbrellas And It Was Absolute Pandemonium

~Wackiness ensues~

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ICYMI, it rained heaps in Sydney overnight.

Careful on the roads. Oxford St now completely under water.

Which means it's time for supermarkets to dust off the umbrella stands and make big $$$ with some good old fashioned ~gendered marketing.~

So excited #Woolworths now makes umbrellas I can operate with my tiny ineffectual female hands!!

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The umbrella stand even came with a helpful guide so I wouldn't accidentally pick up the incorrect umbrella and get soaked when it refused to open in my calloused, masculine hands.

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We asked each umbrella owner to detail their experience.

Brad: At first I figured this would be a regular exercise. Rob approached me and told me there were some umbrellas that needed opening. Not to boast, but I consider myself quite the umbrella expert. I border on being something of an umbrella flaneur at times. I was handed the first umbrella and immediately recognised its masculine traits. A hard, hooked handle - perfect for my manly hands, and a colour scheme which can only be described as "black." This umbrella was easy to open, and use, so much so that I gave it a good couple of swings to check its dexterity. It all seemed A-OK and masculine.

The second umbrella handed to me was beyond jarring. How would I, a man, open an umbrella so obviously designed for a woman? It was small and dotted, with a handle that drowned in the enormity of my palm. I struggled and stretched to open it, and when I finally did it didn't open all the way. Understandable given its design.

The third umbrella was probably the best. I unsheathed it, as one does, and knew it would be paramount to open quickly and in a crisp manner, engaging my masculine muscles and pushing the umbrella's canopy up and locking it into place. The umbrella was red. A rich red. A fine red. A red that summoned the aura of dominance. The aura of a man who had been places. And I have, and I will continue to - with this umbrella or not.

Alex: Too often have I been caught out in the rain, forced to use my handbag over my head (to protect my hair) because I didn't have a gender-specific umbrella. The black mens umbrella was SO HEAVY and BIG. Had I not been indoors I fear a gust of wind would have lifted my fragile body into the air and blown me away.

The ladies umbrella was polka dotted and perfectly matched my blouse, and the soft-grip handle meant that my manicured soft hands did not have to struggle with a cold, manly hook handle. Plus, closed and sheathed, it kind of looked like a purple dildo!

The unisex umbrella was fine.

Rob Stott is a news editor for BuzzFeed News and is based in Sydney.

Contact Rob Stott at rob.stott@buzzfeed.com.

Alexandra Lee is a politics reporter for BuzzFeed News and is based in Sydney, Australia.

Contact Alex Lee at alexandra.lee@buzzfeed.com.

Brad Esposito is a news reporter for BuzzFeed and is based in Sydney, Australia.

Contact Brad Esposito at bradley.esposito@buzzfeed.com.

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