The Australian Senate got the giggles this week when a very important topic came up: bee jizz.
It seems Australia, home to some of the world's best bees, has recently started importing bee semen, and our fearless senators wanted to know why... and how.
Senator Bill Heffernan, Australian parliament's loosest unit, asked the obvious question: "How do you get the semen out of the bee?"
"Everyone wants to know how you get semen out of a bee," responded Department of Agriculture and Water Resources first assistant secretary Tim Chapman. "I cannot claim to be an expert."
Which forced senator Sean Edwards to do this.
Ever the professional, Chapman soldiered on, explaining the finer details of extracting cum from a bee.
"There are videos of this on YouTube. Basically you squeeze the bee, which averts its endophallus, and then the semen is collected from the end," he said.
Then things took a really dark turn. Let's go to the transcript:
Heffernan: And the bee is still alive when you are finished?
Chapman: No, but—
Heffernan: So that was the answer. To get the semen you have to kill the bee.
Mr Chapman: Bees also die when they mate naturally. In fact they explode.
All the while, our esteemed senators were doing this.
And with that, Heffernan wrapped up the conversation.
"On that cheerful note: thank you. God help the human species."
