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25 Things Everyone From The South Of The Isle Of Man Will Understand

For anyone who knows that Talons is never the answer.

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1. The best thing about the south of the Isle of Man is the one weekend a year (usually in late May or early June) when it's hot – and not just hot for the island, actually hot – and there's only one destination.

😍

2. And there's only one view you want while enjoying a much-needed beer.

3. With the best of intentions you head down to the water to have your annual swim. Sadly this is about as much as you can manage, but at least you tried.

4. And if you're VERY lucky you'll avoid standing on one of the hundreds of jellyfish that appear every time the tide goes out.

Instagram: @little_breaker_
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5. Of course, by the time you've got yourself an ice cream the weather will have turned. But it was nice while it lasted.

6. You get REALLY annoyed when people say other beaches are better than Port Erin. I mean, Peel is ~fine~, but it's more exposed and much less picturesque.

Even with the castle. Which, tbh, is mostly ruined. In the south our castles stay standing!
Via Flickr: gillpoole

Even with the castle. Which, tbh, is mostly ruined. In the south our castles stay standing!

7. And don't even get me started on Laxey beach. Giant pebbles do not an idyllic beach make.

Also where even is Laxey?!
Via Flickr: jamesstringer

Also where even is Laxey?!

8. Back to castles – we all spent at least one day a year in primary school visiting Castle Rushen.

But calling it Castle Rushen has always been VERY confusing, thanks to the school.
Via Flickr: 34228590@N04

But calling it Castle Rushen has always been VERY confusing, thanks to the school.

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9. And sure, Peel castle may have a ghost dog, but down south we've got this guy who makes groaning noises while taking a dump.

I've been visiting the castle since about 1990, and this guy was sat on the toilet even back then. Someone should really send him to a doctor.
Robin Edds / BuzzFeed

I've been visiting the castle since about 1990, and this guy was sat on the toilet even back then. Someone should really send him to a doctor.

10. Before you were finished you'd inevitably pose for a photo of yourself straddling a cannon. Because obviously.

Robin Edds / BuzzFeed
Robin Edds / BuzzFeed

The phrase "who goes there?" will forever be burned into your mind, and you're OK with that.

11. Another thing the south has that those pretenders in the north and west could only dream of? Fucking steam trains.

Toot toot, motherfuckers. Oh, and in case there's anyone from the north of the island reading this...Steam Railway > Electric Railway
Via Flickr: andreboeni

Toot toot, motherfuckers.

Oh, and in case there's anyone from the north of the island reading this...

Steam Railway > Electric Railway

12. And living so close to Ronaldsway means you know that if you have to, you can leave the house half an hour before your flight and still make it.

Can you imagine having a whole half-hour drive to the airport? Sucks to be you, Kirk Michael.
Via Flickr: calflier001

Can you imagine having a whole half-hour drive to the airport? Sucks to be you, Kirk Michael.

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13. Talking of distance, living in the south means anything further than Douglas is officially too far. You go to Ramsey maybe once a year, and even that is against your will.

Not even Mooragh Park is worth a 45-minute drive.
Via Flickr: jammydonutworld

Not even Mooragh Park is worth a 45-minute drive.

14. And you're fairly sure Jurby is just a myth they invented to scare children.

And it worked.
Via Flickr: synx508

And it worked.

15. Douglas is just about an acceptable distance. Plus it means you get to say hello to these chaps on the way.

👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋
CC / Via en.wikipedia.org

👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋

16. Unfortunately, when going on nights out the Manx bus system turns a 20-minute drive into a painful hour-long journey during which you'll definitely need a piss.

That loop around the airport has always been – and will always be – utterly unnecessary.
Via Flickr: calflier001

That loop around the airport has always been – and will always be – utterly unnecessary.

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17. And being on the bus for over an hour means drinking on the bus is the only way to prepare for a night out.

Robin Edds / BuzzFeed
Robin Edds / BuzzFeed

Disclaimer: To anyone who might be in these photos and is less than happy about it, I apologise, but they were too funny not to include, so... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

18. Getting home from Douglas at 3am, on the other hand, is less fun. Wandering up and down the prom, praying for a taxi, knowing you've got a £40 journey (at least) ahead of you.

Oh, to be able to walk home like your smug friends who live in Douglas.
Via Flickr: slackaliss

Oh, to be able to walk home like your smug friends who live in Douglas.

19. But if you're of a certain age you'll remember being able to go to Talons – the south's only nightclub.

Google Maps / Robin Edds / BuzzFeed

It shut down in 2003(ish), and for some reason at the time you were kind of devastated.

20. Though take it from someone who was convinced to go to a Talons Revival night just a few short months ago, it was the right decision.

Robin Edds / BuzzFeed
Robin Edds / BuzzFeed

Lol, 69.

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21. If, like me, you've left the island, you know that for as long as you live you'll be able to see everyone you've ever known in the Haven on Christmas Eve.

It's not good. It's just what you do.
Google Maps

It's not good. It's just what you do.

22. There will undoubtedly have been times when someone suggested everyone goes skinny dipping after a night in the Bay. Always a terrible idea.

Robin Edds / BuzzFeed
Robin Edds / BuzzFeed

P.S. If you recognise the people in this picture that says more about you than me.

P.P.S. But if you really want to know who they are, just drop me an email and I'll happily fill you in.

23. Raising the cultural bar a little, the south is also home to the last remaining traditional Manx settlement.

OK, let's be honest, Cregneash is hardly a barrel of laughs. But look at the pretty houses.
Via Flickr: jamesstringer

OK, let's be honest, Cregneash is hardly a barrel of laughs. But look at the pretty houses.

24. We also have a whole other island all to ourselves.

Again, the Calf of Man is dull as shit. But does Ramsey have its own island? I rest my case.
Via Flickr: jammydonutworld

Again, the Calf of Man is dull as shit. But does Ramsey have its own island? I rest my case.

25. Put simply, the south of the Isle of Man is significantly better than everywhere else.

Robin Edds / BuzzFeed
Robin Edds / BuzzFeed

Especially Foxdale.