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25 Things Everyone From The South Of The Isle Of Man Will Understand

For anyone who knows that Talons is never the answer.

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1. The best thing about the south of the Isle of Man is the one weekend a year (usually in late May or early June) when it's hot – and not just hot for the island, actually hot – and there's only one destination.


4. And if you're VERY lucky you'll avoid standing on one of the hundreds of jellyfish that appear every time the tide goes out.

Instagram: @little_breaker_

6. You get REALLY annoyed when people say other beaches are better than Port Erin. I mean, Peel is ~fine~, but it's more exposed and much less picturesque.

Via Flickr: gillpoole

Even with the castle. Which, tbh, is mostly ruined. In the south our castles stay standing!


9. And sure, Peel castle may have a ghost dog, but down south we've got this guy who makes groaning noises while taking a dump.

Robin Edds / BuzzFeed

I've been visiting the castle since about 1990, and this guy was sat on the toilet even back then. Someone should really send him to a doctor.

10. Before you were finished you'd inevitably pose for a photo of yourself straddling a cannon. Because obviously.

The phrase "who goes there?" will forever be burned into your mind, and you're OK with that.

11. Another thing the south has that those pretenders in the north and west could only dream of? Fucking steam trains.

Via Flickr: andreboeni

Toot toot, motherfuckers.

Oh, and in case there's anyone from the north of the island reading this...

Steam Railway > Electric Railway


12. And living so close to Ronaldsway means you know that if you have to, you can leave the house half an hour before your flight and still make it.

Via Flickr: calflier001

Can you imagine having a whole half-hour drive to the airport? Sucks to be you, Kirk Michael.

13. Talking of distance, living in the south means anything further than Douglas is officially too far. You go to Ramsey maybe once a year, and even that is against your will.


16. Unfortunately, when going on nights out the Manx bus system turns a 20-minute drive into a painful hour-long journey during which you'll definitely need a piss.

Via Flickr: calflier001

That loop around the airport has always been – and will always be – utterly unnecessary.

17. And being on the bus for over an hour means drinking on the bus is the only way to prepare for a night out.

Disclaimer: To anyone who might be in these photos and is less than happy about it, I apologise, but they were too funny not to include, so... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

18. Getting home from Douglas at 3am, on the other hand, is less fun. Wandering up and down the prom, praying for a taxi, knowing you've got a £40 journey (at least) ahead of you.

19. But if you're of a certain age you'll remember being able to go to Talons – the south's only nightclub.

Google Maps / Robin Edds / BuzzFeed

It shut down in 2003(ish), and for some reason at the time you were kind of devastated.


21. If, like me, you've left the island, you know that for as long as you live you'll be able to see everyone you've ever known in the Haven on Christmas Eve.

22. There will undoubtedly have been times when someone suggested everyone goes skinny dipping after a night in the Bay. Always a terrible idea.

P.S. If you recognise the people in this picture that says more about you than me.

P.P.S. But if you really want to know who they are, just drop me an email and I'll happily fill you in.