BuzzFeed Staff, UK 

BuzzFeed

Which European Country Should You Move To?

Bye bye, Britain. Look out, Lithuania! Don't know much about it? Who cares! Life is all about new experiences. In terms of population it's basically the size of Wales, but with basketball instead of rugby and slightly less singing. Enjoy!  
PS: Pack a jumper. It gets rather cold.

Lithuania

Like the UK, Denmark joined the EU in 1973. Also like the UK, the people of Denmark bloody love a beer. And if that wasn't enough to convince you, don't forget Denmark's greatest export: Lego! Have fun in your new homeland, where everything really _is_ awesome.

Denmark

Welcome to your new home! OK, so Slovenia may not have the endless beaches of Spain or the world-famous cuisine of France or Italy, but it DOES have one vineyard for every 70 people. Sign us up!

Slovenia

Once you've spent the first few days in your new home learning how to spell it, you'll discover that Liechtenstein isn't _actually_ in the EU. However, it does have access to the single market and accepts most of the rules of the EU. Also, its national anthem is sung to the same tune as "God Save the Queen", so you'll be able to hum along in no time! Enjoy your new home – we'll be sure to visit...

Liechtenstein

If your only experiences of Greece are awkward, sexless holidays when you were in sixth form, fear not. There's a lot more to your new home than vomiting teenagers. And even if the vomiting teenagers _do_ find you, you've got 227 inhabited islands to escape to. Combine that with some of the warmest temperatures in Europe, and you probably won't be feeling homesick anytime soon. Have fun!

Greece

Sun. Sea. Sand. All the jamon you could ever need. It's a wonder you didn't move there sooner, to be honest. On top of all this, public nudity is totally legal, and everyone has a well-earned nap in the middle of the afternoon. Within minutes of touching down in your new home it'll be as if this shitshow of a referendum never happened. Hopefully. Adios!

Spain

If you're looking for a new homeland because the referendum has made you lose the will to get out of bed in the morning, Germany is the place for you. The only thing they enjoy more than giant beers and the silky tones of David Hasselhoff is being a member of the EU. They've got more chance of losing to England in a penalty shootout than they do of holding a referendum. You'll be safe there, for now...

Germany

With a population just over half that of Northern Ireland, a veritable shitload of sunshine, and the remains of the earliest recorded pet cat (9,500 years old!), there really is no place like your new home. Also, JUST THINK OF ALL THE HALLOUMI. Say goodbye to Great Britain – we'll see you in Cyprus!

Cyprus

When you're watching the sun set over the Adriatic, drink in hand, sat on the rocks just outside the city walls of Dubrovnik, nothing will feel further away than the never-ending fuckery that has been the EU referendum. Enjoy your new home! Honestly, never come back. You'll be much happier for it.

Croatia

The first country to legalise same-sex marriage. The source of 70% of the world's bacon. Stunning canals. A cyclist's paradise. Eighty-six per cent of the population speak English as a second language. Home to some of the world's most famous beer brands...  
Hmm. Your new home doesn't sound half bad. Mind if we come and visit?

Netherlands

Mais, oui. Bon voyage. Où est la piscine? You're on your way to France! OK, so you were probably hoping to end up a little further away from home, given how FUCKING HORRIBLE everything is right now – but with access to all the bread, cheese, and (most importantly) wine you could ever want, Nigel, Dave, and the rest of the gang will feel like a distant memory. Or at least that's the plan...

France

Congratulations, you're moving to Finland! Though it's 50% larger than the whole of the UK, it has a population the size of Scotland, meaning there's more than enough space if the endless hysteria of the referendum has got you down. Which it has. Also, there is a sauna for every five Finns, which is kind of cool I guess. If you like saunas...   
Enjoy your new home!

Finland

You're moving to Malta. That'll be fun, right? Well, just in case you're not totally convinced that you want to leave damp, angry, post-referendum Britain to move to the middle of the Mediterranean, perhaps this will persuade you... With 14 of the fuckers, Malta enjoys more public holidays than any EU country! Yep. Thought that would do it. Also, that means you'll have plenty of free time for visitors. See you there!

Malta

Pack your bags, you're off to Belgium! The land of chocolate and beer and Tintin and, most importantly, the actual home of the EU. Sick of the referendum? Never want to go through this bullshit again? Move to Belgium. They bloody love the EU. They'll never leave. If it ever falls apart they'll be the last ones at the party, crying and listening to early Taylor Swift.   
Enjoy your new home!

Belgium

Count your lucky charms, you're off to the Emerald Isle! This works out perfectly – you don't need to learn a new language, you're used to truly miserable weather, and this way your home country might even have an outside chance of winning Eurovision, which is novel. Have fun in your new homeland!

Ireland

Say "arrivederci" to this referendum bollocks – you're moving to Italy! Pizza. Pasta. Coffee. Nice shoes. Priceless art. Stunning landscapes. What's not to love? And to top it all off, your new football team – unlike your old one – isn't a total shower of shit. So that's good. Forza Italia!

Italy

Beautiful people. Stunning landscapes. One of the highest percentages of female lawmakers in the world. Very low income inequality. Very high life expectancy. Very generous maternity and paternity packages. Ikea. ABBA. Robyn. Ace of Base.  
Basically what we're saying is even if Britain _weren't_ sliding towards the apocalypse, moving to Sweden would actually be the way to go. Enjoy!

Sweden

OK, so Iceland isn't _actually_ in the EU, BUT it _is part of the European Free Trade Association and the Schengen Area. It has access to the single market and follows most of the rules of the EU, including free movement. But, ignoring all that, it has VOLCANOES and GEYSERS and WATERFALLS and THE NORTHERN LIGHTS and FUCKING GEOTHERMAL LAGOONS and BJÖRK. See you in Reykjavik!   
PS: Just avoid the fermented fish. Trust us._

Iceland

About BuzzFeed Community

Community Brand Guidelines

BuzzFeed Community

Sorry, this content is <i>no longer</i> supported.

BuzzFeed Community Guidelines

BuzzFeed Community Leaderboard

BuzzFeed News has breaking stories and original reporting on politics, world news, social media, viral trends, health, science, technology, entertainment, and LGBTQ issues.

All the best animals on the internet. The snuggle is real.

BuzzFeed has breaking news, vital journalism, quizzes, videos, celeb news, Tasty food videos, recipes, DIY hacks, and all the trending buzz you’ll want to share with your friends. Copyright BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved.

BuzzFeed News | Breaking News | Original Reporting | News Analysis

Animal Pictures and Videos - Adorably from BuzzFeed

Name

Thanks for subscribing!

Stay up to date with our latest BuzzFeed video. Enter your email to subscribe!

Oops! Upload an image or add text to submit.

BuzzFeed has the hottest, most social content on the web. We feature breaking buzz and the kinds of things you'd want to pass along to your friends.

Which European Country Should You Move To?

Share This Article