1.
"You've fucking ruined the charts SHEERAN"
2.
when you wake up from a nap only to realise you slept on your crisps
3.
he’s like this every time we turn the vaccuum cleaner on
4.
BAKE ME UP BAKE ME UP INSIDE
5.
When your mum says 'just try it on over the top of that' in the middle of the shop floor
6.
well I'm never using tinder again
7.
Britain 2017.
8.
You can call me :)
9.
My boyfriend went to a costume party as Deirdre Barlow in prison and it's slightly too convincing.
10.
11.
Cannot read this without adding "Turtle Power!"
12.
At @waitrose you can buy an empty jam jar for £2 or an identical one full of jam for £1.71. You decide...
13.
#WorldBookDay He has to go to school dressed as a character from Scottish literature. So he's Begbie.
14.
If you photoshop out the dogs, #Crufts is merely the world's premier posh skipping contest..
15.
Fucking hate getting catfished by a parking space u think it's empty and then there's a fucking KA in there
16.
This learner has absolutely fucked it today
17.
Fred flintstone been driving about killie
18.
I got bored and was drunk so I thought I'd drop Ben from outnumbered a message loooool
19.
HOLD ON. Why has Gordon Brown secretly been mates with Shakira for years?
20.
21.
The person ahead of me at the checkout left their receipt behind. A dark afternoon stretching out ahead of them.
22.
when you buy a ticket and it doesn't get checked for the entire journey
23.
"British people don't have any culture" Mate who do you think invented shouting "OIIIII FUCK OFFFFF" when an absolute banger comes on?
24.
My guy dresses up as his mum to get served
25.
26.
This is the most suspicious slogan I've ever seen. 🤔
27.
Tonight I witnessed the best cheating as a pub quiz host - ever.
28.
Adele's that gal in the toilets on a night out that gives you a pep-talk & a jaegerbomb when you've bumped into your ex & feel n look a 2/10
29.
30.
Literally me attempting to pass GCSE physics
31.
Serves 40???? LOOOL ASDA are u sure about that
32.
Why does Ed Sheehan look like he's queuing up to meet Ed Sheeran?