Buzz·Posted on Oct 13, 201536 Tweets Guaranteed To Make British People Laugh Every TimeBehold, the people who truly make Britain great.by Robin EddsBuzzFeed Staff, UK FacebookPinterestTwitterMailLink 1. Tom Carter @Pointless_Alias I couldn't believe what I saw on @C4Countdown today, it was just bang out of order. 03:52 PM - 06 Oct 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 2. Adam Hess @adamhess1 Just bumped into my old French teacher and she asked me what I'm up to now. I told her I go to the cinema and play football with my brother. 10:44 AM - 13 May 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 3. Anandamide @anandamide GETTING PEOPLE TO DO THIS IS LITERALLY THE WHOLE POINT OF THE CHARGE YOU LOBOTOMISED SHITLARKS 08:31 AM - 05 Oct 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 4. Boothby Graffoe @boobygraffoe Theresa May too large to fit in studio so she has to stand outside & be interviewed through the window. 07:30 AM - 06 Oct 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 5. keverrst @keverrst DYSTOPIA: Sam Smith sings at the Spice Girls' funeral. 10:35 PM - 30 Sep 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 6. Jamie Ross @JamieRoss7 A Glaswegian responds to Tesco customer service. 08:27 PM - 24 Mar 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 7. Rhys James @rhysjamesy Running water found on mars, Protests at cereal bars, The Moon is turning blood red, Cameron boned a pig head, WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE 04:01 PM - 28 Sep 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 8. Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump "@HamishP95: @realDonaldTrump My Dad is thinking of voting for the first time ever for you. " Great. 11:07 AM - 12 Sep 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 9. Sean Leahy @thepunningman [Restaurant] "Good evening sir, would you like to hear the specials?" Yes please "THIS TOWN (AHH AHHH) IS COMIN LIKE A GHOST TOWN" 11:56 AM - 19 Dec 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 10. Stu Royall @stu_bot3000 Client: What if no one gets it? Agency: We'll explain the gag in subhead C: Won't that ruin it? A: We'll use brackets 09:16 AM - 15 Jul 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 11. HeardinLondon @HeardinLondon Well this is the best bit of graffiti I've seen probably ever (from a mate on FB) 07:19 AM - 06 Jul 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 12. Tom @LegalCheek_Tom When you have the labour conference at 1, but you have to defend WWE World Heavyweight Championship at 3. 02:40 PM - 29 Sep 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 13. Rhys James @rhysjamesy quick FYI to refugees - there are TONS of youtube videos 'not available in this country'. still come but didn't want that to be a surprise. 11:17 PM - 11 Sep 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 14. simon buschenfeld @buschenfeld RIP Jamiroquai, U are wiv da angels now 05:47 PM - 04 Aug 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 15. Jayne Sharp @Jaynesharp Dave Grohl scrubs up well. 08:11 AM - 13 Jul 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 16. Summer Ray @SummerRay The most impressive thing about Arsenal is how it's very nearly two bum words in one name. 01:51 PM - 12 Jan 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 17. John F. Brennan @UpturnedBathtub Just found this massive syringe at my local park, right beside where the kids play football. Absolutely disgusting. 07:03 PM - 07 Jun 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 18. Chris McGrath @mc_gra Homesick lorry :( 01:48 PM - 07 Dec 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 19. Paul Sinha @paulsinha Congratulations West Ham the only club named after two things that ISIS hate. 01:41 PM - 25 Oct 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 20. Jamie Ross @JamieRoss7 What the hell is going on here? This looks like a character selection screen in a shite version of Mortal Combat. 07:58 AM - 07 Oct 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 21. Chris Hewitt @ChrisHewitt Young Ed Miliband looks like all the Inbetweeners at once. 05:57 PM - 05 May 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 22. Moose Allain @MooseAllain No no, no no no no, no no no no, no no no no, no no no no, no no no no, no no no no, no no no no, no no no no, no no no no, there's no limi 07:51 AM - 04 Jul 2011 Reply Retweet Favorite 23. Tom @tdawks What the fuck is Eye Toast?! 04:15 PM - 01 Sep 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 24. Michael Spicer @MrMichaelSpicer Oh no. Madonna's at the front door of my nan's house again. 11:12 AM - 10 Aug 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 25. T'Other Simon @TOther_Simon What a way to make a living. 08:44 PM - 17 Feb 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 26. Sixth Form Poet @sixthformpoet My girlfriend just bought a ruler from Smiths. Heaven knows I'm measurable now. 07:49 PM - 02 Apr 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 27. Nathan Zombiehips @ndmckeown Another exciting adventure from Enid Blyton... 01:38 PM - 07 Aug 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 28. Ollie Garch @ojedge We DID NOT walk 500 mile. And we WOULD NOT walk 500 more. ~ The Disclaimers. 08:15 PM - 30 Nov 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 29. Scott Hoad @ScottHoad I'm not a huge fan of them either, Simon, but isn't that a bit extreme? 05:52 PM - 18 Apr 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 30. Tom Cox @cox_tom 4 reasons country walks are great: 1. Cost f*** all. 2. Healthy. 3. No Internet. 4. Enable you to say hello to horses using fake posh voice. 11:49 AM - 20 Nov 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 31. GoaT FacE ThrillA @EndhooS Clegg: On the mouth? Fish Monger: If you want my vote, then yeah. Clegg: Tongues? Fish monger: Of course with tongues 09:56 AM - 27 Apr 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 32. Sean Leahy @thepunningman Finally, I can use this feature 09:49 AM - 21 Sep 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 33. sam @Saamlawrie Am fucking sick eh being treated like a mug 07:23 PM - 04 Oct 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 34. Neil @_Enanem_ I just looked in the mirror and thought, who's that old man staring back at me? then I realised it's not a mirror, it's a fish fingers box. 05:34 AM - 29 Sep 2011 Reply Retweet Favorite 35. John Coyne @mrjohncoyne Further proof, if needed, that the British Justice System is too lenient. 02:31 PM - 04 Sep 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 36. Steve Anglesey @sanglesey Craig David's new material is increasingly dark 09:14 AM - 04 Jun 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite Like BuzzFeed UK on Facebook.