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19 Times Waitrose Went Way, Way Too Far

FYI, Waitrose – water is essential, crème brûlée is not.

1. When they thought your morning omelette lacked that little "je ne sais quoi".

Phew!! Panic over. I can make a middle class omelette after all. 😉 #onlyinwaitrose

2. And then they were all "actually, fuck it, let's see if people will pay £20 for an ACTUAL OSTRICH EGG".

How could we not be excited by a waitrose when they sell essentials like ostrich eggs? @WHampstead

3. When they started to throw around unnecessary superlatives willy-nilly.

Since when was basil majestic? #OnlyinWaitrose

4. When they knew what you couldn't live without.

Essential for who exactly? #waitroseessentials

I mean, you couldn't go around just smelling of any old wood, right?

There are essentials, and then there are #Waitrose essentials.

5. When they looked into your soul and knew exactly what you wanted for lunch.

Just picking up the everyday essentials in #waitrose thank goodness they hadn't run out!!

6. The time they assumed you only needed kitchen towels to clean up wine spills...

Love how #waitrose kitchen towels are branded with a wine glass spillage. #middleclassproblems

I mean, sometimes it's prosecco. Right?

7. Whey they realised a day without a crème brûlée is just bullshit.

When creme brulee is considered 'essential' #middleclassproblems #waitrose #funnywaitroseessentials

8. Or, you know, TWELVE WHOLE ECLAIRS.

Absolutely love Waitrose Essential. Nothing in it is essential, but I love it #waitroseproblems #waitrose #eclairs

9. When they switched to a strict "inquisitive hens only" policy when it comes to producing their eggs.

Only eggs laid by hens with an inquisitive nature will be gracing my breakfast table #onlyinwaitrose #waitrose

10. Of course, if one yolk isn't enough for you...

11. When even the shit sweets from your childhood became a victim of Britain's collective gentrification.

Biggest rip off of all time #waitrose ? Used to buy in a packet for 10p & you got a choice of flavours !!!

12. When they pretty much started to lose touch with reality.

Ah Waitrose I do love what you deem "essential" #firstworldproblems #waitroseessentials

13. When millions of voices cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced.

Down-To-Earth Snacks #onlyinwaitrose

14. When not even rum could save this travesty.

15. And if lime is your thing, say goodbye to boring old "plain ice".

Only in Waitrose would you find these! Lol #MiddleClass

16. When these two perfectly pleasant things were unnecessarily combined and no one felt joy ever again.

Waitrose stocks Marmalade Vodka. Not part of the Essentials range yet but give it time.

17. When cleaning up after yourself with anything less than cashmere was deemed an act of heresy.

'Don't forget the Cashmere enriched toilet roll, darling.'

18. When the labels catered for Britain's many Latin speakers.

You know you're in Waitrose when the breaded haddock ticket is in Latin

19. And finally, when it went a little to far with the hard sell...

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