28 Cast-Iron Rules Of Office Life

Please don’t use Comic Sans. Or crap on the floor.

This attitude to work isn’t uncommon.

But whether you’re bored of the daily grind.

Or just hate everyone you work with.

If you follow these rules your office will be a happier place for you and everyone around you.

Or at least that’s the idea.

1. Never steal your colleague’s lunch.

3. Don’t buy strong smelling food and eat it at your desk.

4. When going to the toilet, be careful with your aim.

5. This goes for number twos, as well.

6. And definitely don’t “go” on the floor.

7. Or forget to flush.

8. Always put your dishes in the dishwasher.

9. Avoid using wacky typography if at all possible.

10. And never, under any circumstances, commit the ultimate crime.

11. Make sure your days are planned out.

12. Don’t use buzzwords.

13. Or feed the intern.

14. If you drop someone else’s food on the floor, tell them.

15. If you’re going to steal, make sure you’re 100% sure of what you’re stealing.

17. Try to keep your colleagues motivated.

18. Don’t have collections for every single birthday in the entire company.

19. Make sure you write down any phone messages.

20. Respect the beliefs of others.

21. If you’re ill, stay at home!

22. Always replace the water bottle when it’s empty.

23. Don’t try to be clever.

24. Don’t tempt your colleagues.

25. And don’t mock them either.

26. Don’t talk down the phone so loudly that everyone knows your business.

27. Don’t disturb your colleagues if they’re busy.

28. And most importantly, don’t do nuttin unsafe.

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Robin Edds is editor-at-large at BuzzFeed UK and is based in London.
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