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    35 Reasons You Should Never Visit London

    Go to London, I guarantee you'll either be mugged or not appreciated.

    1. For some reason London is one of the most popular travel destinations on the planet.

    Via Flickr: janie_easterman

    Hampstead Heath, London

    2. This can only mean one thing: people are stupid. I mean, look at it. What a dump.

    Via Flickr: simon__syon

    Millennium Bridge, London

    3. For starters the Thames is disgusting.

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    Dartford Crossing, London

    4. There's no wildlife to be seen except squirrels and foxes.

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    Richmond Park, London

    5. Autumn in London pretty much sucks.

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    Putney, London

    6. It almost never snows in winter, and when it does it's just grey slushy stuff.

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    Battersea Park, London

    7. Spring is a massive let down.

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    St James's Park, London

    8. And summer? Well, you get the idea.

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    Primrose Hill, London

    9. The main problem with London is that it's just so grey.

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    Kew Gardens, London

    10. All the time. Grey, grey and more grey.

    Chris Jl / Via Flickr: chrisjl

    Brick Lane, London

    11. And this incessant greyness just brings everyone down.

    Valters Krontals / Via Flickr: themoonkeeper

    Notting Hill Carnival, London

    12. Because nothing looks good in grey.

    Via Flickr: janie_easterman

    Hampstead Heath, London

    13. All the new buildings in the city have totally ruined the skyline.

    Via Flickr: mikepaws

    The Square Mile, London

    14. And the older buildings aren't much better.

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    Royal Albert Hall, London

    15. Come on, Natural History Museum. You're not even trying!

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    Natural History Museum, London

    16. As we all know, Londoners hate everyone.

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    Broadwick Street, London

    17. But can you really blame them when it looks like this?

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    St James's Park, London

    18. What a load of shit.

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    The Serpentine, London

    19. Of course the pubs in London are overcrowded and have zero character.

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    Notting Hill, London

    20. Borough Market is just a tourist trap that does, at best, average food.

    Via Flickr: francesdumlao

    Borough Market, London

    21. And who wants a market dedicated solely to flowers?! Fuckwits. That's who.

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    Columbia Road Flower Market, London

    22. In London it's impossible to find any peace and quiet.

    Via Flickr: megantrace

    Hyde Park, London

    23. And if your desires are... unconventional, there's nothing here for you.

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    Soho, London

    24. Tube stations are utterly characterless.

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    Marble Arch Underground Station, London

    25. Don't even get me started on the train stations.

    Via Flickr: victoriapeckham

    St Pancras International, London

    26. Oh, you like the Southbank? Aren't you original.

    Via Flickr: davebass5

    The Southbank, London

    27. The Olympics was a total waste of money. Legacy, my arse!

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    Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park, London

    28. And while we're on the subject, no view in the world is worth paying to go up the Shard.

    Via Flickr: carlosvanvegas

    The Shard, London

    29. East London is just full of of beards, cereal cafes and restaurants where you can't book a table.

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    Victoria Park, London

    30. Not to mention all the graffiti.

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    Shoreditch, London

    31. Greenwich Mean Time? More like a massive WASTE of time amirite?

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    Greenwich Park, London

    32. And the view from the top definitely isn't worth it.

    Via Flickr: mrthk

    The Royal Observatory, London

    33. Why on earth The Kinks decided to sing about something as boring as a Waterloo sunset I've got no idea. Fuck you, Ray Davies.

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    Waterloo Bridge, London

    34. And after ten minutes in the Tower of London you'll be BEGGING them to behead you.

    Via Flickr: psg

    The Tower of London, London

    35. So in summary: London is a pile of wank and you should stay well away.

    Via Flickr: stevencorrey

    Battersea Power Station, London

    THE END.

    Luke Miller / Via Flickr: millerartwork

    The Shard, London