1. They teach you things you probably didn't know.
BOOK FACT: Books were first invented twelve days ago.
WaterstonesOxfordSt
@WstonesOxfordSt
BOOK FACT: Books were first invented twelve days ago.
2. Like, this seems crazy, but they're a book shop. They should know, right?
BOOK FACT: There are only 150 books in the entire world. One for each of the original Pokemon.
WaterstonesOxfordSt
@WstonesOxfordSt
BOOK FACT: There are only 150 books in the entire world. One for each of the original Pokemon.
3. When Waterstones dropped its apostrophe two years ago, they did it with care.
I found the apostrophe where I'd seen it earlier. Shivering from the cold, crying from hunger, I gave it my coat and took it in.
WaterstonesOxfordSt
@WstonesOxfordSt
I found the apostrophe where I'd seen it earlier. Shivering from the cold, crying from hunger, I gave it my coat and took it in.
'It's not your fault, apostrophe,' I said, 'but the business has changed. It's a digital age, you're just a victim of rebranding.'
WaterstonesOxfordSt
@WstonesOxfordSt
'It's not your fault, apostrophe,' I said, 'but the business has changed. It's a digital age, you're just a victim of rebranding.'
'LIke Marathon?' it said. 'Or Opal Fruits?' 'Exactly,' I said. The apostrophe smiled, glad not to feel so alone anymore.
WaterstonesOxfordSt
@WstonesOxfordSt
'LIke Marathon?' it said. 'Or Opal Fruits?' 'Exactly,' I said. The apostrophe smiled, glad not to feel so alone anymore.
4. They spent a LOT of money on this totally original Christmas advert. John Lewis? Never heard of him.
View this video on YouTube
5. They talk about books as if they're their children.
6. They're charitable.
7. They laugh in the face of the 140 character limit.
Did I ever tell you about the day I finished reading every book in the world?
WaterstonesOxfordSt
@WstonesOxfordSt
Did I ever tell you about the day I finished reading every book in the world?
It was back in March. I remember turning the final page and looking out the window. The sky was the colour of a boring Sunday.
WaterstonesOxfordSt
@WstonesOxfordSt
It was back in March. I remember turning the final page and looking out the window. The sky was the colour of a boring Sunday.
'Now what?’ I asked my flatmate, thousands of books piled around me. ‘What is there left to do now that I’ve read every book in the world?'
WaterstonesOxfordSt
@WstonesOxfordSt
'Now what?’ I asked my flatmate, thousands of books piled around me. ‘What is there left to do now that I’ve read every book in the world?'
‘Go outside, fall in love,’ my flatmate replied. ‘Become friends with the animals, the birds, with TV’s Philip Schofield.’
WaterstonesOxfordSt
@WstonesOxfordSt
‘Go outside, fall in love,’ my flatmate replied. ‘Become friends with the animals, the birds, with TV’s Philip Schofield.’
So I left the flat. I fell in love. I became friends with the animals and the birds. I approached Schofield in a café near Finsbury Park.
WaterstonesOxfordSt
@WstonesOxfordSt
So I left the flat. I fell in love. I became friends with the animals and the birds. I approached Schofield in a café near Finsbury Park.
Philip,’ I said. ‘I have read every book in the world. I am in love. I am friends with the animals and the birds. Can we too be friends?’
WaterstonesOxfordSt
@WstonesOxfordSt
Philip,’ I said. ‘I have read every book in the world. I am in love. I am friends with the animals and the birds. Can we too be friends?’
But it wasn’t Philip Schofield. It wasn’t even Toby Anstis. Or Chris Jarvis. It was a strange man who simply said ‘no’ and walked away.
WaterstonesOxfordSt
@WstonesOxfordSt
But it wasn’t Philip Schofield. It wasn’t even Toby Anstis. Or Chris Jarvis. It was a strange man who simply said ‘no’ and walked away.
I went home. By the time I got back some new books had been published. I started reading. My friendship with Phillip would have to wait.
WaterstonesOxfordSt
@WstonesOxfordSt
I went home. By the time I got back some new books had been published. I started reading. My friendship with Phillip would have to wait.
8. And resort to all caps only in the most extreme circumstances.
THE BOOKS ARE ATTACKING US IT'S ALL A TRICK THEY'VE BEEN WAITING UNTIL THEY'RE IN OUR HOMES HELP US SOMEBODY HEL
WaterstonesOxfordSt
@WstonesOxfordSt
THE BOOKS ARE ATTACKING US IT'S ALL A TRICK THEY'VE BEEN WAITING UNTIL THEY'RE IN OUR HOMES HELP US SOMEBODY HEL
Or not, as the case may be.
No, sorry. False alarm. Sorry.
WaterstonesOxfordSt
@WstonesOxfordSt
No, sorry. False alarm. Sorry.
9. For them, it's all about books.
The correct way to watch a film adaptation of a book: 1) Read the book. 2) Don't bother with the film adaptation. The book's better.
WaterstonesOxfordSt
@WstonesOxfordSt
The correct way to watch a film adaptation of a book:
1) Read the book.
2) Don't bother with the film adaptation. The book's better.
10. Which makes sense, I guess.
HALLOWEEN PRESENT IDEA: Books.
WaterstonesOxfordSt
@WstonesOxfordSt
HALLOWEEN PRESENT IDEA: Books.
'But we want sweets!' the children shout. 'BOOKS ARE SWEETS OF THE MIND,' you'll shout back. They'll cry now but appreciate it when older.
WaterstonesOxfordSt
@WstonesOxfordSt
'But we want sweets!' the children shout. 'BOOKS ARE SWEETS OF THE MIND,' you'll shout back. They'll cry now but appreciate it when older.
11. They're not afraid to use new technology to get their message across.
12. They're helpful.
13. Not to mention funny.
Q: What do you call a man with a book on his head? A: BOOK HEAD. WEARER AND DEFENDER OF BOOKS. #bookjokes
WaterstonesOxfordSt
@WstonesOxfordSt
Q: What do you call a man with a book on his head?
A: BOOK HEAD. WEARER AND DEFENDER OF BOOKS.
#bookjokes
14. And are always looking out for their books.
15. They help you to spot things you've never noticed before.
Film mistake: In Back to the Future, Marty's hair changes length when entering the 1955 diner but, in actual fact, time travel is impossible
WaterstonesOxfordSt
@WstonesOxfordSt
Film mistake: In Back to the Future, Marty's hair changes length when entering the 1955 diner but, in actual fact, time travel is impossible
16. Feeling ill? Big queue at the doctors? Just head to the book shop.
Did you know you can use books to cure most major diseases? Oh, sorry, no, not books. Medicine. DO NOT USE BOOKS INSTEAD OF MEDICINE.
WaterstonesOxfordSt
@WstonesOxfordSt
Did you know you can use books to cure most major diseases? Oh, sorry, no, not books. Medicine.
DO NOT USE BOOKS INSTEAD OF MEDICINE.
17. They're always thinking about the competition.
18. Occasionally they can break your heart.
BOOK FACT: Every time you fold a page, the book screams in a tone so high that human ears cannot hear it. Don't mark books, use bookmarks.
WaterstonesOxfordSt
@WstonesOxfordSt
BOOK FACT: Every time you fold a page, the book screams in a tone so high that human ears cannot hear it. Don't mark books, use bookmarks.
19. They're masters of disguise.
20. They follow the rules.
The first rule of Write Club is: You do not talk about Write Club. But you are encouraged to extensively blog or tweet about it.
WaterstonesOxfordSt
@WstonesOxfordSt
The first rule of Write Club is: You do not talk about Write Club. But you are encouraged to extensively blog or tweet about it.
The second rule of Write Club is the same as the first because of a printing error when we were finalising their charter.
WaterstonesOxfordSt
@WstonesOxfordSt
The second rule of Write Club is the same as the first because of a printing error when we were finalising their charter.
The third rule of Write Club is: No tautologies.
WaterstonesOxfordSt
@WstonesOxfordSt
The third rule of Write Club is: No tautologies.
21. But at heart, like all of us, they're trolls.
