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24 Questions Britain Has For Australia

And we didn't even mention Vegemite once.

1. How do you make it through the terrible winters?

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❄️⛄️❄️⛄️❄️⛄️❄️⛄️❄️⛄️❄️⛄️❄️⛄️❄️⛄️❄️

2. Why is your weather so patriotic?

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3. What the fuck is with WHITE Freddos and how do we get in on this?!

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4. How accurate was this episode of The Simpsons?

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Bonus question: Is this a knife or a spoon? 🔪

5. Is a hangover an excuse to act like a dick?

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Because if so we're totally OK with that. Can we come visit?

6. Did you really think this was an acceptable cheese to cracker ratio?

7. Are you all this cool?

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8. Why isn't this guy Prime Minister?

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And if you don't want him we'll happily do a swap. Take your pick between Cameron, Miliband, Clegg and Farage. Fuck it. Take all four.

9. Do you wish you had a real Christmas?

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'Tis the season to be eaten alive by mosquitos.

10. When are you going to stand up and address this terrifying statistic?

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11. Please can you take Rupert Murdoch back?

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Pretty please?

12. What's so wrong with Tony Abbott?

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Lol, jk. He's a dick.

13. And if you don't like him, may we make another suggestion?

Eleven

Moments after this photo was taken Harold shoved Paul's head into a tuba.

14. You all know koalas are evil, right?

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15. Did you survive the alien invasion?

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And did Will Smith or Bill Pullman save the day?

16. Do you have trousers?

This is an actual photo of Australians voting last Saturday for the federal election...

17. Is crime not a big deal, then?

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To be fair that guy would probably cause the England top order a few problems. (The joke there is that we are shit at cricket.)

18. Can you please be in charge of global diplomacy?

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If the UN told more people to get fucked the world would be a much better place.

19. And if you could send us one of these that would be swell.

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20. WHERE DID IT COME FROM?

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21. You're taking the piss with this, right?

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22. Do all owls look like this over there?

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Or is Sydney museum just a bit shit?

23. Can we have the Ashes back, please?

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And why the fuck did Mitchell Johnson have to remember how to bowl at the worst time possible?

24. And finally... UMM WHAT?

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