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19 Problems That Are Too Real For Anyone Who's Been Single In London

For anyone who's ever struggled to reach the Just Eat minimum spend on their own.

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1. When you arrange to meet a date at a tube station that has multiple exits – like London Bridge – and end up five minutes' walk from each other.

Meaning the first IRL conversation you ever have is a definitely not-awkward attempt to find each other. "I can see a...NatWest? And the Shard?"This is why you see so many people waiting outside Oxford Street Topshop.
Google Maps

Meaning the first IRL conversation you ever have is a definitely not-awkward attempt to find each other. "I can see a...NatWest? And the Shard?"

This is why you see so many people waiting outside Oxford Street Topshop.

2. The depressing frequency with which you fall madly in love with a stranger on the way to work.

There's something about being sat opposite the same person on the District line for 15 minutes that causes you to plan out your whole lives. Where you'll live. Which relatives will be sat on which tables at your wedding...FUCK she's wearing a wedding ring. Sigh. There's always tomorrow.
Via instagram.com

There's something about being sat opposite the same person on the District line for 15 minutes that causes you to plan out your whole lives. Where you'll live. Which relatives will be sat on which tables at your wedding...FUCK she's wearing a wedding ring. Sigh. There's always tomorrow.

3. But as much as you wish you could talk to strangers, if a stranger talks to you, you instantly think they're crazy and move carriages.

ITV

4. Being 20 minutes late for your date because you forgot to factor in the fact that Oxford Circus gets closed due to congestion every single fucking day.

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5. When rush hour on the Victoria line is the closest you've come to physical intimacy in months.

Oh, shit. They just touched your hand. They're definitely into you.
Via Flickr: jaggers

Oh, shit. They just touched your hand. They're definitely into you.

6. If you meet anywhere near central London, finding a pub that actually has seats is almost impossible.

7. Or if it does have space, there's usually a reason for that...

8. So if you do somehow manage to find somethere that is both nice and spacious, you'll probably end up suggesting it every time you have a first date.

If you know where this is, don't tell anyone. It's mine.
Via Twitter: @RosePublicHouse

If you know where this is, don't tell anyone. It's mine.

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9. Which unfortunately means the bar staff will start to recognise you.

Comedy Central

So you spend the whole night trying to avoid eye contact and inevitable judgment.

10. And just because London's big, don't go thinking that means you won't bump into people you've dated on a pretty regular basis.

Warner Bros.

If you're really unlucky you'll see someone you went on a couple of dates with as you're getting the tube home. As you say an awkward goodbye the train door will close on your face, leaving a black line down your cheek that you don't notice until you get home.

Yes, it happened. No, I'm not over it.

11. In fact, the worse the date was, the more likely it is that you'll see them...

This graph is science. You can't argue with science.
Davis Mccardle / Getty Images

This graph is science. You can't argue with science.

12. After a few years, and a number of apps, you start to realise that some names are more common than others.

Robin Edds / BuzzFeed
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13. And another thing that happens over time: You now have multiple no-go areas that remind you of certain exes.

Fuck you, SW2.
Robin Edds / BuzzFeed

Fuck you, SW2.

14. When using proximity-based apps, like Happn, you're constantly being matched with people from your office.

Walt Disney

Including that one person who is definitely in a relationship. You know who you are.

15. The creeping realisation that buying a property on your own is almost impossible.

Not that buying somewhere with someone else is particularly easy either.
Purplebricks

Not that buying somewhere with someone else is particularly easy either.

16. Almost as impossible as having to reach the minimum spend (aka the Single People Tax) on Just Eat when you have no one to share it with.

Wildpixel / Getty Images / Via Twitter: @CarlyAnnsm
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17. When Time Out just becomes one giant list of "things I'd do if I wasn't single".

https://twitter.com/farangLDN/status/740094433274777600
https://twitter.com/jenlipman/status/742673381204631552

18. Having to watch people who are significantly less sad and alone than you be happy and together on the tube home.

19. But then you take a trip home for the weekend and realise that your friends who are still there are all married with kids.

Via imgur.com

For all its horrible dates and happy couples, London actually gives you a good 10 years' grace when it comes to sorting your life out. Plus the law of averages suggests one of these first dates will be your last first date eventually...right?