1. Everything is or isn't ice cream.
2. Killing a spider makes the spider genetic pool sneakier and more deadly.
Via reactiongifs.us / reddit.com
3. The only time the word 'incorrectly' isn't spelled incorrectly is when it's spelled incorrectly.
Via giphy.com / reddit.com
4. When you drink alcohol you are just borrowing happiness from tomorrow.
Via goodreads.com / reddit.com
5. The sinking of the Titanic must have been a miracle to the lobsters in the kitchen.
Via giphy.com / reddit.com
6. It's possible that drug cartels are comprised exclusively of undercover DEA agents who don't know about each other.
Warner Bros. / Via pandawhale.com / reddit.com
7. Being attracted to your own flaccid penis would be the worst fetish ever.
ABC / Via smg.photobucket.com / reddit.com
8. Trying to get rich by playing the lottery is like trying to commit suicide by flying on commercial airlines.
Via gifsec.com / reddit.com
9. 'Slang' is a colloquial word for 'colloquial word'.
Warner Bros. / Via imgur.com / reddit.com
10. When someone else makes you laugh in your dream, your brain came up with that joke. Of course you think it's funny.
11. Your right elbow has never been touched by your right hand.
MTV / Via giphy.com / reddit.com
12. The word 'Fat' just looks like someone took a bite out of the first letter of the word 'Eat'.
Via goodreads.com / reddit.com
13. All of the planets in Star Wars have the exact same gravitational pulls.
Disney / Via weheartit.com / reddit.com
14. Mars is populated entirely by robots!
Via teen.com / reddit.com
15. If two people on opposite sides of the world each drop a piece of bread, the Earth briefly becomes a sandwich.
16. What if the Egyptians didn't actually revere cats, but only jokingly did like we do on the internet?
Via giphy.com / reddit.com
17. People who say, "Don't tell me what to do" are hypocrites.
AMC / Via pedestrian.tv
18. A mullet will make you a redneck and also prevent you from getting one.
Via hitfix.com / reddit.com
19. The final 'e' in finale is the finale of finale.
Via thelavalizard.com / reddit.com
20. Porn mags in the Harry Potter universe would be amazing.
Warner Bros. / Via hpfansblog.tumblr.com / reddit.com
21. We will never hear about the truly perfect crime.
22. It's possible that AI built to defeat the Turing test fails on purpose so we don't know how smart it really is.
Warner Bros. / Via keysmashblog.com / reddit.com
23. 1980 is as far away as 2048.
Via pixgood.com / reddit.com
24. Asking someone, "Where are you?" is a recent thing. Before we had mobile phones, the only way we could talk to people is if we knew where they were.
