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37 Things That Make British People Say "Oh, Fuck Off"

Feeling patriotic? You certainly won't be after this.

1. The never-ending miniaturisation of confectionery.

2. The saddest Caesar salad you've seen in your fucking life.

3. And the less said about what's happening here, the better.

4. Shit puns.

5. Whatever this abomination is.

6. Mark.


7. This quiz show contestant.

8. And this one.

9. This relationship.

10. This condiment calamity.

11. This rainbow of horrors.

12. The dating site made for dicks, by dicks.

13. This unnecessarily gendered tea.

14. The raving fuckwit who decided to put Toblerones in Heroes.

15. This whole shower of shit.

16. Security tags on plastic bags.

17. When you find a Pringle that looks like this.

18. This plan, conceived by bellends.

19. This hateful excuse for an excuse.

20. Britain's saddest sandwich.

21. Though this runs it close.

22. This twat.

23. Scientific inaccuracy in jokes.

24. The least romantic thing that's ever happened.

25. The most expensive piss you'll ever take.

26. The sound of this barrel being scraped.

27. Crisp prices rising by 1,000% since your childhood.

28. When a complete tosser does something like this.

29. Having to use multiple coins for a single game of pool. Like pissing and eating crisps isn't already expensive enough.

30. When even the BBC forgets how to spell.

31. Continental breakfast.

32. This arseclown.

33. Who is only slightly more tolerable than this arseclown.

34. Tom Daley's frying pan.

35. Spending £1,670 to look like you're penniless. Which, tbh, you will be after spending £1,670.

36. Peak London.

37. But the thing we hate more that anything in the world? Warm beer.