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How Cripplingly English Are You?

Sorry. But it would be terribly nice if, perhaps, you could find your way to doing this bloody lovely quiz. Thank you. Sorry.

  1. 1. You and another commuter go to sit in the same seat on the train. What happens next?

  2. 2. You don't take sugar in your tea, but some fuckwit has just thrown a whole teaspoon in. What do you do?

  3. 3. What is your favourite thing about Christmas?

  4. 4. You're introduced to a friend of a friend at a party, but five minutes later you've forgotten their name. What's your next move?

  5. 5. What springs to mind when you hear the word "Yorkshire"?

  6. 6. Your neighbours won't stop having very loud sex. What do you do about it?

  7. 7. You're waiting to get served at the bar, and the barman asks what you want even though the person next to you was there first. How do you react?

  8. 8. How many times do you get drunk during your average three-day weekend?

  9. 9. Complete this sentence: "Andy Murray is _________"

  10. 10. Last time you got your hair cut you didn't like what they did. It's time to get your hair cut again. What do you do?

  11. 11. You're about to leave work and see your colleague starting to pack up. You...

  12. 12. You're walking down the street and realise you've been going the wrong way. What do you do?

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