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1. You're about to go on holiday, it's 7am, and you're sat in the departure lounge. What do you drink?
A cup of Earl GreyA cup of Builder's BreakfastA coffeeA pint (you're on holiday, after all)A glass of OJ -
2. The hairdresser holds up their mirror, you hate your new haircut. What do you do?
Politely ask them if they could maybe make it more like what you had in mindCall in sick at work for a few days to ensure minimum embarrassmentTell them it's "great", then go and get it fixed at a place round the cornerTell them exactly what you think, and refuse to paySmile and nod, before tipping them -
3. You're introduced to a new colleague but don't quite catch their name. How do you react?
Ask them to repeat their nameAvoid using their name at all costs by calling them "mate" and "hey you"Guess their nameIgnore them foreverMake up false stories about them so that they lose their job -
4. When did you last have a cup of tea?
You don't drink teaIn the last monthIn the last weekEarlier todayYou're drinking one right now -
5. You wave at a friend in the street but then realise it wasn't them. Do you...
Laugh it off, it's happened to everyoneChase them down to explain what happenedCryReplay the moment over and over again in your mind until something even more embarrassing happensHave a drink -
6. You and your partner are both adamant that each other eats the last Hob Nob. How do you resolve the situation.
Split it into twoDo what they say and eat itOpen another packet so you can both have oneArgue about it and break upWhat's a Hob Nob? -
7. Someone knocks into you at the bar and spills their beer on you. You...
Get angryOffer to buy them a replacementSay sorry (it was probably your fault anyway)Pretend that nothing happenedTry to make a joke out of it and become their friend -
8. Your flat is freezing cold, but it's too early in the year to put your heating on. What do you do?
Put on a record-equalling sixth jumperPut the heating on, who cares if it's AugustSit there stubbornly whilst moaning about how cold it isMake a cup of teaGo to the pub -
9. Are England going to win the World Cup?
YesWith a bit of a luck and a fair wind they COULD make the final, then it's anyone'sThey'll lose the quarter finals on penaltiesProbably not, but let's give the boys our full supportThey've got about as much chance of winning in Brazil as Scotland do -
10. You're sat in the window seat of a plane and need the loo, but the person in the aisle seat is asleep. What do you do?
Gently wake them up to ask if they can let you outRisk lasting internal damage by refusing to say anythingCough louder and louder until they wake upTry to squeeze past them without waking them up, but they do, just as it looks like you're trying to sit on their lapLoo?! -
11. You've started to bump into a new colleague on the train to work every morning. So you...
Change your commuteArrive at work half an hour early so as to avoid forced nicitiesTalk to them, it's nice to be niceIgnore them foreverPretend to be asleep
How British Are You?
There aren't many more British (or awkward) than you. The Empire is lucky to have you.
Or David Beckham's left foot, come to think of it. Though at heart you're British, you've seen enough of the world to make you realise there's more to life than emotional repression.
You're awkward. You're easily embarrassed. You're sickeningly polite. You're as British as they come!
Which is to say, not very British at all. But you're probably a much happier, more well-adjusted person for it.
Seriously. Check your passport.
