How British Are You?

No pressure. But if you fail your passport will be rescinded.

  1. 1. You're about to go on holiday, it's 7am, and you're sat in the departure lounge. What do you drink?
    1. A cup of Earl Grey
    2. A cup of Builder’s Breakfast
    3. A coffee
    4. A pint (you’re on holiday, after all)
    5. A glass of OJ
  2. 2. The hairdresser holds up their mirror, you hate your new haircut. What do you do?
    1. Politely ask them if they could maybe make it more like what you had in mind
    2. Call in sick at work for a few days to ensure minimum embarrassment
    3. Tell them it’s “great”, then go and get it fixed at a place round the corner
    4. Tell them exactly what you think, and refuse to pay
    5. Smile and nod, before tipping them
  3. 3. You're introduced to a new colleague but don't quite catch their name. How do you react?
    1. Ask them to repeat their name
    2. Avoid using their name at all costs by calling them “mate” and “hey you”
    3. Guess their name
    4. Ignore them forever
    5. Make up false stories about them so that they lose their job
  4. 4. When did you last have a cup of tea?
    1. You don’t drink tea
    2. In the last month
    3. In the last week
    4. Earlier today
    5. You’re drinking one right now
  5. 5. You wave at a friend in the street but then realise it wasn't them. Do you...
    1. Laugh it off, it’s happened to everyone
    2. Chase them down to explain what happened
    3. Cry
    4. Replay the moment over and over again in your mind until something even more embarrassing happens
    5. Have a drink
  6. 6. You and your partner are both adamant that each other eats the last Hob Nob. How do you resolve the situation.
    1. Split it into two
    2. Do what they say and eat it
    3. Open another packet so you can both have one
    4. Argue about it and break up
    5. What’s a Hob Nob?
  7. 7. Someone knocks into you at the bar and spills their beer on you. You...
    1. Get angry
    2. Offer to buy them a replacement
    3. Say sorry (it was probably your fault anyway)
    4. Pretend that nothing happened
    5. Try to make a joke out of it and become their friend
  8. 8. Your flat is freezing cold, but it's too early in the year to put your heating on. What do you do?
    1. Put on a record-equalling sixth jumper
    2. Put the heating on, who cares if it’s August
    3. Sit there stubbornly whilst moaning about how cold it is
    4. Make a cup of tea
    5. Go to the pub
  9. 9. Are England going to win the World Cup?
    1. Yes
    2. With a bit of a luck and a fair wind they COULD make the final, then it’s anyone’s
    3. They’ll lose the quarter finals on penalties
    4. Probably not, but let’s give the boys our full support
    5. They’ve got about as much chance of winning in Brazil as Scotland do
  10. 10. You're sat in the window seat of a plane and need the loo, but the person in the aisle seat is asleep. What do you do?
    1. Gently wake them up to ask if they can let you out
    2. Risk lasting internal damage by refusing to say anything
    3. Cough louder and louder until they wake up
    4. Try to squeeze past them without waking them up, but they do, just as it looks like you’re trying to sit on their lap
    5. Loo?!
  11. 11. You've started to bump into a new colleague on the train to work every morning. So you...
    1. Change your commute
    2. Arrive at work half an hour early so as to avoid forced nicities
    3. Talk to them, it’s nice to be nice
    4. Ignore them forever
    5. Pretend to be asleep

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Robin Edds is editor-at-large at BuzzFeed UK and is based in London.
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