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29 Real-Life "Simpsons" Jokes Guaranteed To Make You Laugh

"A noble joke embiggens the smallest man." – Jebediah Springfield, kinda.

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1. The Coke can bearing this surprisingly common name.

"My son is also named Bort."
Via reddit.com

"My son is also named Bort."

2. This truck logo that's German for "the Bart".

"No one who speaks German can be an evil man."
Via reddit.com

"No one who speaks German can be an evil man."

3. This less-than-cromulent spice rack.

4. These outfits that prove you can do anything with a sewing machine.

5. This guy who isn't a state, he's a monster!

"No, Lisa. The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother. I call him Gamblor!"
Via reddit.com

"No, Lisa. The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother. I call him Gamblor!"

6. The person who had clearly waited their entire life to be asked this question.

7. The special cake a woman made for her husband so he could ruin it.

8. The Ken Bone/magic xylophone mash-up we all needed.

In epsode 2F09, when Itchy plays Scratchies skeleton like a xylophone,he strike's the same rib in succession,yet he… https://t.co/YOSr3KkDNB

9. The person who got $2 off her T-shirt because it got smeared.

10. This very important question.

"Careful, they're ruffled!"
Via reddit.com

"Careful, they're ruffled!"

11. This snack from Albany.

12. The LSO's social media manager knocking it out of the park.

13. Quite possibly the last "funny chalkboard sign" that was actually funny.

14. This houseplant.

*steps on rake, shudders*
Via reddit.com

*steps on rake, shudders*

15. The responses to this Australian newspaper after it ran a story about a proposed monorail system.

"Were you sent here by the devil?""No, good sir, I'm on the level!"
Via imgur.com

"Were you sent here by the devil?"

"No, good sir, I'm on the level!"

16. These candidates who don't seem so terrible these days.

"We are merely exchanging long protein strings. If you can think of a simpler way I'd like to hear it."
Via reddit.com

"We are merely exchanging long protein strings. If you can think of a simpler way I'd like to hear it."

17. This Methuselah rookie card.

"Twenty-six conversions in AD 46!"
Via reddit.com

"Twenty-six conversions in AD 46!"

18. This cheeseboard.

Brie? That's a paddlin'.
Via reddit.com

Brie? That's a paddlin'.

19. "Get out of here, Nigel Farage."

"Nigel Farage? Never heard of him, my name is Guy Incognito"

20. The tattoos that this brother/sister duo got so they don't lose their train of thought.

"Thanks a lot, Carl!"
Via reddit.com

"Thanks a lot, Carl!"

21. This reminder from the 2012 US election.

22. The way this mother-to-be told her husband that she was pregnant.

23. This demo tape.

24. The signature on this cast.

25. This Australian banknote.

26. The T-shirt for a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around the city, keeping its SPEED over 50, and if its SPEED dropped, the bus would explode! I think it was called...

I don't need it I don't need it I don't need it I don't

27. This cocktail menu from a bar in Toronto.

*belches* "Number eight. Number eight..."
Via reddit.com

*belches*

"Number eight. Number eight..."

28. The largest-denomination currency ever.

"Ooh, a trillion-dollar bill! 'Ats a spicy meatball."
Via reddit.com

"Ooh, a trillion-dollar bill! 'Ats a spicy meatball."

29. And finally, these photos a dad keeps where he needs the most cheering up...