Said "I'll make sure I stay off the roads then!" when someone tells you they passed their driving test.Tried to find an English speaking TV channel the moment you get into your hotel room on holiday.Followed someone through a bunch of doors and had to come up with a new way of saying "thanks" each time.Left the butter knife hanging over the edge of the sink so as not to completely rule out the possibility of having more toast.Said you were going to turn over a new leaf and get your shit together, but literally just tidied your room.Told someone who's just pulled a door that says "push" that you have to push it, like they hadn't just worked it out for themselves.Said "can I come in your suitcase?" when someone you know is going on holiday.And when you've been on holiday, responded to the question "how was it?" by telling them how cheap a pint was.Become disproportionately excited when your home town gets mentioned on the TV, regardless of context.Then got a text from your mum to tell you that your home town has just been mentioned on the TV.Gone all the way to the back of the bus to avoid sitting next to someone.And been utterly freaked out when someone has sat next to you on the bus when there were still empty seats.Got off the bus because it was stuck in traffic, then walked really fast to race the bus so as to justify your decision to get off.Brushed your teeth at the same time as your bf/gf, and not wanted to be the one who stops first, so you're both still going at it 15 minutes later.Set off the alarm when leaving the supermarket and basically thought you were going to prison despite being 100% certain you haven't stolen anything.Got angry at your parents when they've offered you a food that you have literally always hated as if they don't know you at all.Been convinced that something terrible must have happened when you've had a missed call from your mum during the working day.Found your reserved seat on the train, but then suffered second hand stress as you see people sit in seats they haven't reserved.And then said "I mean, how hard is it?!" to your friend as you watched someone get kicked out of their seat because they read the number wrong.Got unnecessarily angry because you thought there was a parking space, only to find that there was a Ka in there that you hadn't seen.Gone to the supermarket without a bag every single time, despite the fact that there is a bag filled with hundreds of other bags under your kitchen sink.Woken up so early that you sit down on the sofa because you've got time to kill, then ended up being late.Said "yeah, it's going round" whenever someone tells you they're ill, no matter what illness they've got. "TB? Yeah, it's going round."Cheered when someone in the pub smashed a glass.Started asking people on a Tuesday what they're up to at the weekend.Imagined winning the lottery despite the fact that you never actually enter the lottery.Refused to get out of bed because you alarm clock isn't showing a multiple of five.Freaked out that your headlights weren't on because you weren't sure if the person driving the other way just flashed you or hit a speed bump.Said that you can't believe how it's so dark so early after the clocks go back, even though it happens every year.Said sorry to someone who just bumped into you despite the fact is was 100% their fault.Coughed loudly and frequently when in a toilet with a broken lock so that everyone knows there's someone in there.Said sorry when paying with change.Slapped your knees and said "right!" before standing up when you're about to do something you don't want to.Given five stars to an Uber driver because they didn't say a word the entire time.Said "he's here!" and pointed to your friend when a police car goes past with its sirens on.Tried to take photos of fireworks even though you learnt years ago that it just doesn't work.Said "oop" upon walking through a door as someone comes the other way.
Are You Even British If You Haven't Done 25/37 Of These Weird Little Things?
You're either not British, or have just worked out how to be a fully functioning, happy, not-cripplingly-awkward member of society. What's that like?!
You're a walking, talking, awkward, repressed, ever so slightly drunk parody of all that is British. Splendid!