This Is What Happens When Americans Try To Explain Cricket

With England and Australia going head to head in the Ashes, we decided to see how much our American cousins knew about all things cricket.

1. What are these people doing?

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Ben: Waving to the fans.

Alex: Calling a wicket??

Spencer: Playing cricket!

Lauren: Pledging their allegiance to Kate Middleton?

Conz: Getting ready for a group high five.

Correct answer: They are appealing to the umpire as they think the batsman should be out.

2. What does "LBW" stand for?

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Whitney: Long Brilliant Win

Ben: Last Best Wicket?

Alex: Leg Before Wicket I think??

Lauren: Little Bloody Wanker (these are British words I know).

Correct answer: Leg Before Wicket. This is when the ball is prevented from hitting the stumps by hitting the leg of the batsman.

3. This dude in the hat is an umpire. What does this hand gesture signify?

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Conz: "You were ~this~ close to scoring."

Whitney: A goal?

Alex: "Please, rain gods, let it rain so I can go home we've been here for four days already."

Lauren: Out of bounds, maybe? Way more concerned about the stuff on his lips.

Correct answer: A six. (i.e. the batsman hit the ball over the boundary without it bouncing – this is worth six runs.)

4. How about this one?

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Ben: First down.

Leo: Pee break.

Alex: One run?

Lauren: Ten points to Gryffindor!!

Daniela: He'd like ONE cup of tea.

Correct answer: The bastman is out.

5. Name THREE ways a batsman can be out.

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Spencer: 1) If he swings and misses three times. 2) If the pitcher hits one of the standing pegs and knocks it over. 3) If he wears white after Labor Day.

Conz: 1) Four strikes? 2) Gets hit by a ball? 3) Hits a foul ball?

Lauren: 1) Shit-talking Kate Middleton. 2) Not saying "pardon me" when you round a base (there are bases, right?) 3) Looking Kate Middleton in the eye.

Alex: 1) LBW 2) FIFA 3) UKIP

Correct answer: There are 11 ways a batsman can be out. The five most common are being caught, LBW, being stumped, being run out and being bowled. The others, which rarely happen, include hitting your own wicket, hitting the ball twice, handling the ball, retiring, obstructing the ball and being timed out.

6. Why is this guy so controversial?

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Conz: Because look at that chin... What is up with that?

Maritsa: Probably something involving that weird green sex toy.

Alex: He turned down a competitor's friendly offer for a PG Tips break.

Whitney: He's a good-looking playboy that cheated on his wife. Many times.

Spencer: Is this the guy who had photos circulating of him peeing in his own mouth, or was that the Aussie rugby player? IDK. Maybe he cheated or something?

Correct answer: This is English cricketer Kevin Pieterson. I could talk for hours about why he's controversial, but long story short... he was dropped from the England team, then wrote a book that pissed some people off.

7. How long does a Test Match last?

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Alex: Three or four days, I think, depending on how many... overs??? I used to know this.

Ben: A week, at least.

Leo: 19 minutes.

Conz: Fifteen minutes? It's like warm up right?

Lauren: Exactly one bank holiday.

Correct answer: Five days.

8. What is a googly?

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Ben: An Australian?

Leo: When the ball has gone missing and you have to search for it. Like searching on Google.

Whitney: The hat in this guy's hand?

Lauren: A foul ball? Is it where the phrase "great googly moogly" comes from?!

Alex: A local chimneysweep who comes by the grounds to collect "quids" on behalf of the neighborhood street urchin.

Correct answer: A variety of delivery bowled by a leg spin bower, such as Shane Warne (above). Not dissimilar to a curve ball in that silly game you play.

9. What is inside this urn?

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Ben: The ashes of Queen Elizabeth I.

Spencer: The losing teams are burned alive, and their ashes are placed in this urn for the winners to keep.

Maritsa: The ashes of a cricket. Cricket players compete for it because it contains the power of superjumping when ingested.

Conz: The ashes of the last team to have lost. Like Hunger Games but with cricket on it.

Lauren: OMG Britain, please don't tell me you guys compete for a trophy of someone's ashes. I'm an American and even I think that's completely inappropriate.

Correct answer: When England first lost to Australia on home turf there was a satirical obituary for English cricket. It stated that the "body will be cremated and the ashes taken to Australia". Ever since then all Test Matches between England and Australia have been known as The Ashes, with the winner taking the urn home until the next series.

10. In terms of cricket, what is sledging?

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Spencer: When someone steals a base (are there bases?).

Whitney: Pushing each other

Lauren: When you accidentally knock over one of those posts?

Alex: When you're bowling and you aim at actually hitting a dude instead of trying to knock down a wicket??

Correct answer: When the fielding team gives the batsman some lighthearted verbal abuse so as to try to put him off.

11. Name THREE fielding positions.

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Lauren: 1) Pitcher 2) Outfield 3) Catcher?

Whitney: 1) Squatting 2) Infield 3) Outfield

Conz: 1) Butt 2) Middle butt 3) Far field butt.

Maritsa: 1) Your butt slightly sticking out. 2) Your butt sticking out a lot. 3) Twerking.

Correct answer: There are a fuckload of fielding positions, but some of the best names include Silly Mid Off, Backward Square Leg, Long Leg and Cow Corner.

12. What is the Barmy Army? (Clue: This guy is part of it.)

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Conz: A band that plays at the games to get people to cheer!

Spencer: The unpaid orchestra.

Alex: A renegade section of the PG Wodehouse Fan Club who show up and cause a ruckus at test matches.

Lauren: A rowdy group of fans who love Barmy, the adorable old man in the hat. He's like everyone's grandpa, Britain loves him.

Leo: A band of white dudes who wear bad hats and applaud their mediocre talents.

Correct answer: More or less what Conz said! But it's the wider name given to England's travelling fans – you don't have to have a trumpet to be in the Barmy Army!